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My very bitter ex wife is finally winning her battle to damage my relationship with my boys. I have court ordered contact for the boys aged 10 and 14 to stay over night 137 times a year however as they get older and as their mum creates situations they have to choose to see me or go on trips, parties etc with her they are saying they don;t want to come more and more. As these changes are not agreed by me, I still am getting in the food, taking leave etc can she go to the CSA at some point and say as the boys only came say 100 nights over the year that a backpayment is needed?
As extra info my ex provides NOTHING for the boys when with me so I have to buy all clothes, shoes provide school pack lunches etc plus undertake all travel to get them to and from their homes as well as to and from football clubs she committed them to!
I cannot afford to go back to court and I know from past experiences the family court will totally side with the mum and I will lose out even more.
Hi,
Sorry to hear about your current situation. Have you spoken to your ex re your concerns about them not staying with you for the nights agreed by the courts? If so, what has her reaction been? Also, does the agreement state that your kids can decide not to go to yours?
My ex refuses all contact...she doen't even tell me when my kids are in hospital. Court orders are in place but as my eldest is 14 they will not enforce them now...plus I have to pay £250 to re start proceedings which I cannot afford
Firstly, the CSA work in multiples of 52 days, so the answer to your question is that if they reside with you for less than 104 days per year, then she can get the maintenance payments increased. However, I'm pretty sure that there would be no backpayment, it's only from the day she makes the claim, and with there being so much contact at the moment, it might be quite difficult to pin down a date when contact drops below 104 days.
As regards to getting orders enforced, if you are on a low income, you may be able to get the court fee reduced, so it's worth asking the courts about this, and then you can represent yourself in court. The courts don't always side with the mother, that attitude is slowly changing, and you would only be asking to maintain the current level of contact, so she would have to convince the court that there's a good reason for reducing contact - something the courts generally don't like to do.
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