I currently have a court order in place as of 2 years ago - to have my children spend 5 nights out of 14 with myself. And to cover 50% of school holidays. I had requested 6 nights but this was rejected in court at the time with no justification other than I’m not their mother. Sexual discrimination much?
I currently have my children roughly 145 nights a year. Over a third of the year. Roughly 41%.
I am currently planning on returning to court with a much firmer frame of mind, to re-request 6 nights and a justification from the magistrates why that cannot be. And to argue that the school holidays are shared on a basis that matches that going forward m. I have 24 days off a year. My ex has around 40. I currently have to cover half (which is around 32 working days a year) and I simply can’t keep it up. It is rather galling when I use up all 24 annual leave days a year to care for my children when their mother is off on holiday abroad at the same time! I’d love that luxury.
The last point I want to explore in court is CMS payments. I intend to argue that I pay for my children on my time, they spend a substantial amount of time with me as it is throughout the year, they have their own bedrooms, filled with toys at my house, I buy all my own clothes and shoes, pyjamas, coats for them (as there is no exchange of their belongings whatsoever between houses). They’ve their own bikes and scooters at my house, I pay for any breakfast/after school clubs on my time, half their clubs they’ve joined at weekends etc. Food, days out, treats the list goes on. All the above could proven photographically. But I’m beginning to struggle to effectively pay for everything TWICE.
Furthermore:
their mother earns nearly twice what I do (she’s a doctor)
Their mother collects all the child allowance for them (£140 a month). Enough to cover their school uniform requirements I’m sure.
Their mother has a new partner (not legally relevant I know but still doesn’t help in reducing the gulf between us)
And I just feel like I’m paying for literally everything the children need twice. And with my ex simply not needing my payments and just being greedy, my monthly payments are just effectively funding HER, not our children in any way.
And the way the payment bands for cms work I am (with circa 145 nights) paying the same amount as someone who see theirs children just 105 nights.
Where would I stand on any of these points in court, should I raise and plead the above!?
I’d fight for the payments to be reduced on the basis of staying at 5/14 nights and for them to cease if it went up to 6/14
hi,
the cao court order and child maintenance are completely separate issues. so I don't think it would look good on you to return to court to discuss money issues. I think returning to court to ask for 1 extra night would be a waste of time. I thought about returning to court for 1 extra night also, but it's not worth the hassle. there's also the risk of you losing nights if the mother successfully argues that the children's routine are being disrupted.
I dont think the courts will get involved in these discussions? I assume your ex isn't willing to negotiate a reduced maintenance payment? Maybe politely explain this to her and see if she will be willing to receive a lower amount with a private arrangement?
Hi
I'd agree with the others.
CMS - not something to raise at court, unfortunately what you have described is just how it works. Unless you can come to an agreement with the ex you have to accept paying the increased payments. However, if you do agree a reduction with her, make sure the CMS claim is closed and you agree and pay a direct amount to her otherwise you risk building up arrears. If it is possible, you could consider increasing pension payments so that at your next annual review (unless you increase payments by 25%) your cms payments are reduced as your taxable income will be lower.
6 nights - no point going to court for this and yes you leave yourself open to counter allegations and lots of hassle.
All the best.
Thanks for the replies and the advice.
I still can’t get my head round child maintenance service decisions.
In my case what they’re saying is:
“We know you have your children, on average 12 days/nights per month, but as that’s not 50%, which would be circa 15 days/nights, then you’re ex partner is effectively “covering” 3 days a month for you. Therefore you must pay maintenance, and we have worked out that it costs on average £80 per day to feed your 2 children, and thus you must pay £240 per month child maintenance to their mother”
How in gods name is that right?? What planet are these people on?
hi,
yes if you don't have 50/50 then you have to pay maintenance based on number of nights you have kids. you could go to court to ask for 50/50 but there' no guarantee you would get it, and I think its unlikely.
The reason it seems such a high amount to pay when nights are so close is because of the way child maintenance is calculated.
You can only get a maximum of a 50% reduction from the full amount of child maintenance even if you have the child virtually half the time, as maintenance appears to assume the receiving payment will pay for all expenses outside of when they are with you, e.g. hobbies, trips, gadgets etc.
This then become very problematic when you get 50:50 care, because maintenance basically goes off a cliff edge to zero when day to day care is equal, which is why parents fight over tiny numbers of nights.