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Hi All, i am new to this. i left my wife 4 years ago and went to a solicitor who gave me 1 hour free consultation. they saw my P60 and agreed i should pay £600 a month maintenance about 30% of my salary. i did this but always thought it was high. i see my kids about 33% of the month when they stay overnight pick the up from school and feed them and have a good agreement with my ex as i work shifts so i see them regular without obstruction. thing is i moved out from a 3 bed detached into a 2 bed terrace which i rent leaving her and the kids in the detatched. the solicitor advised that i need to pay enough to cover living costs of the kids, electric gas etc. money is tight at the moment but she rubs my nose in it by having 3 holidays a year i earn £1800 a month and csa say i should pay about £250 for both my ex has now got her new chap moved in and i am happy to have the responsibilites to pay for my children but in a round about way dont want to be paying for their holidays or their impending wedding. i have avoided the csa as i know that kids can cost more than £250 but where do i stand because my ex sees it as a competion and when they come to mine i dont have the cash to do lots with them and have to look at a caravan holiday every other year with them as i cant afford it and all i get from the kids is "when we went to corfu, or when we went to Majorca" i want some of that memory but with me and the kids. sorry its long winded but i have wanted to get this of my chest for ages but being a bloke cant talk to my mates the same over a pint as they wont understand...
Hi there,
I'm guessing you have already checked the CSA calculator on the web site? (Google it) if not check that and see what it says you should pay for your children! you don't "have" to pay any more, that said you can pay what you want and I'd say that if there is a huge difference then you can use the actual amount to start the conversation with your ex as to wanting to drop the payments too a lower amount (that suits you better)
I would say though that you may find she starts to dictate more around contact if you pay her less, this shouldn't stop you changing the payments but just keep it in mind when discussing things with her.
Darren
thats great, she has worked out some calculation on things like gas and electric and splitting the mortgage down into thirds 1 third her 1 third her new chap and the final third the kids. i am confused with all these numbers. she has based them on different sized houses. am i correct in thinking that the maintenance is for their upkeep such as clothes etc and the childcare such as after school clubs and things like football and hockey club after are split equally. or should that be included in the maintenance. i
legally you only need to pay her maintenance as set out by the csa guidelines nothing above this.
the only exception would be if your name still appeared on the mortgage then you would remain liable for your share.
everything your children need should come from the maintenance.
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