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OK. So this is my predicament. Over the past 10 years I have had the biggest life changing event of my life to date. No not having my children, but changing my sexuality.!
I've had 3 amazing children, 2 from 1 mother and the final child from another. The mother of this final child is being awful. She wont let me see my child, she is more than happy to receive my money each month for maintenance but wont let me have anything to do with him or if she does I have to be with her. The reason I don't want the latter is because I don't want anything to do with her because when I am with her she is crass and rude and quite frankly an embarrassment to be around when she tries to bully me about my sexuality.
Whilst I appreciate I am the one who caused the break up etc etc I feel she is making my life [censored] by not seeing him.....
The CSA have been ok but I still feel that they are being unreasonable about the whole situation and as a father what rights do I have to be able to see my son?
What advice would you give.
Hello Pavl,
It might be helpful if you were to go to Mediation, I don't know your situation in any depth, how long the mother that is causing you the problems has had to get used to the change in circumstances. I'm sure you realise the impact this has had, especially as your gender realignment caused the break up.
Mediation would be something that you should definitely try, here's a link to the website www.nfm.org.uk
Relate might be helpful if you can get her to attend with you. www.relate.org
So If I arrange for a contact order which is what I want how much is this going to set me back. No amount of money is a problem especially to see him.
She's happy to accept my money every month but she's not happy to let me see him! That's fair don't you think! NOT!
Mediation is the accepted first step in matters of contact with children. Legal Aid is still available for this service and eligibility can be checked here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid hers slink to the service www.nfm.org.uk
As far as the cost of court is concerned, you can pay a solicitor to represent you or you can self represent. The court fee for applying for contact is £200 and people on benefits or a low income may be entitled to an exemption from the charges. Solicitors on the other hand can cost thousands.
Paying maintenance and contact are two separate issues and there is no entitlement to access even though you might be supporting them financially.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
