Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
10 years on we are still dealing with a bitter ex wife. Having made numerous attempts at attack my life and relationship with our boys she has now cpmplained to the CSA. In brief she has manipulated my boys (aged 14 and 10) over contact e.g if you go to dad fri to sunday (as per court orders) then you can't go to your nan's birtday dinner on saturday evening...despite us agreeing to drop them to it! Other contact has not taken place as we have tried to be flexible e.g stay at mum's today as she has sky sports and your football team are on. Our view has been to be flexible and move contact, sadly my ex rarely allows the boys to come outside of the court ordered contact but regularly tries to created scenarios where boys want to stay at hers more. Having not had contact on approximately 18 nights we should have, she then went to the CSA and asked for our banding to be changed. Both parties are in agreement that the court orders mean the boys are with me for approx 110-125 nights over 12 months, both agree this has occurred over the last 3+ years but my ex is saying she "predicts" the boys will come to see me less as they are getting older. Having been told by the CSA that they only act on actual contact that has occurred and not what might happen I am shocked that I am now awaiting a tribunal date to argue my appeal. The CSA acted on my ex wife's original complaint and immediateky increased my payments, I argued the case they have written in their report that they believe the change was wrong yet I am still paying the increased amount and have to now attend a tribunal in central london, Please can anyone offfer advise for the tribunal and if I can claim any costs against my ex?
to the best of my knowledge, you can't claim any costs at all regarding attending tribunals. It does sound like your ex has manipulated the contact purely to increase maintenance, and it's possible that the tribunal will see through this.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.