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Hi,
I separated from my wife over a year ago, we have 2 children and I pay her £375.00 per month child maintenance, which I have looked on the CSA calculator and I am paying her more that I should be. She is constantly asking me for money for shoes, clothes, holidays, days out etc. She has now sprung on me that I have to pay an extra £150.00 per month to cover the child care for the 2 days that I have my children during the week whilst she works, this would make a total of £525.00 a month that I am going to have to pay her. I cant afford this extra money and dont know what to do and how I stand legally so that I can say to her this is all the money that I can afford and this is all you are getting.
I dont know what to do and where to go and I need some advice and help.
my ex is the same....i had to contact my solicitor the other week....as long as you are conforming to the CSA guidlines that is ALL you are legally required to give her as your contribution towards child care, any more that that is your choice to give.
if my ex iss antthing to go by...she thinks the £500 per month is total budget for the kids every month....its not...only my share of it...she needs to put something in the pot too....both of you are responsable for the kids upbringing...not just the dad paying for everything....seems to be a common theme.
just tell her no....but be prepared for her not being happy about it.
worst comes to the worst....go see a solicitor and get them to send her a letter....might cost £100...but save more than that in the long run....money for you to spend on your kids.
Hi
I am sorry you are going through this. I also am going through a similar pain barrier. Gordy is correct - there are (unfair) rules, but there are rules here. According to the CSA, you are legally responsible to pay 20% of your nett income for 2 kids but this will reduce according to the number of days you have them (and other circumstances) eg if you have them for 50% of the nights then you only pay half of this amount (because both parent should be responsible for paying for cost of the kids). (There is a CSA calculator on their website). It is always best to agree between husband and wife on payments before going to CSA but this is easier said than done - especially when the ex decides the husband is the ONLY person who should contribute.
Contact me privately if you like and I'll tell you what I know. The CSA ruling is meant to be a good thing for the kids and I think it works well up until a point but there are many areas where it falls down and greed is allowed to manifest itself in the ex-wife.
Whatever you do, do NOT give the ex any lump sum payments or assets. You need to get that bit split 50:50 as soon as possible as the CSA and the Law do not care about these things. One other thing is whoever gets the kids (99% the wife) is the winner and is not means tested at all. All she has to do is demand money from you. It is up to you to defend anything which is unfair - this is when the system is very wrong.
Good luck - take Gordy's advice...
Mike
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