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Hi,
Here below is a letter i have sent to CSA. I really am at a loss to know quite where to turn for answers. The letter is pretty self explanatory. I did contact CSA and they told me as I have no case with them they would not get involved, especially as I reside overseas. Other agencies I contacted told me I was not entitled to know any answers as i was not the claimant. please see below and pass your thoughts
ta
alj
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would appreciate some guidance and replies to the below questions so I can understand exactly my responsibities and alternatives. I find myself, as I’m certain many estranged fathers do, of being totally ‘in the dark’ and seemingly nowhere to get straight answers.
I have been paying my ex wife maintenance via ‘Family agreement’ for about 13 years without defaulting via bank transfer. To say the situation is totally 1x sided is an understatement; I receive zero feedback, acknowledgement or communication with either my ex wife or children. My eldest daughter dropped out of university, commenced full-time employment and I was never informed of change of circumstance and so obviously continued payments. As it transpires I would actually not of altered the payments as my other daughter needed additional funds as she became unwell. The point being of course is I was never advised and so never had the fundamental right of choice.
The situation is to keep it brief as follows and I should like honest answers and advise so I reserve the right to make my own balanced decisions as I wish.
My daughter was 16 on 28 dec 2011. I pay maintenance by agreement with my ex wife. She resides with my daughter and her (my wife’s) boyfriend in her own home in the UK. I am 100% domicile in (Republic of) Cyprus for the last 13 years.
I have been long since advised that although I am lawfully bound by UK law to pay maintenance, as I reside in Cyprus it is not enforceable and CSA would not pursue my non-payments due to my total long-term domicile in Cyprus. Incidentally, I have never faltered on any payment nor would I do so, the question is, am I right in saying that I would not be pursued by CSA?
My daughter is now 16 ½ years. I understand that payment from the estranged parent MAY stop as of September 3rd this year. The exceptions are if she continues at full time education at 6th form or in certain circumstances at college. Is this correct? If it is correct how doI ascertain if her course/extension qualifies for these exceptions of my continued payments, I assume there is a list somewhere which clarifies.
Is it considered a reasonable request by me to ascertain IF she has left school, continues at 6th form or going to college and in any of these cases, am I legally obliged to continue payments? I cannot rely on an answer from the family, I simple wouldn’t trust it. Whenever I call to ask these questions the answers are evasive and confrontational, it generally ends in being told ‘’CSA can sort it if I want’’. (hence my question above re Would CSA take an active interest and is it unreasonable of me to want confirmation). So who or where to do get a truthful answer or am I supposed to stop paying and then someone contacts me to advise I should still be paying? I am not being facetious, it is literally the conclusion I come to after contacting other agencies who tell me they cannot speak to me as I am not the claimant. I should also want to know if I would be kept updated, for if I am told she is at school then leaves, no-one from the family will advise me and I shall continue paying as I did before.
My daughter has health issues. She has chronic fatigue and finds it difficult to walk. She is receiving medical assistance from various medical authorities. If she is unable to attend school through ill health even if enrolled, does the absent parent continue paying? If so for how long?
Can my ex wife seek any social benefits for herself (carer) or my daughter if she leaves school and is unable to continue with any education due to ill health? Any advice would be grateful and I shall pass it onto her. If she were to receive benefit would my payments to her be subtracted in any way, would she or I need to advise anyone?
In conclusion, I do not wish to ‘duck out’ of any payments or responsibilities, had I of wanted to do that I would of a long time ago. I have my own family now and they rely on me in Cyprus, I have no contact at all with my ex family through their choice. I simply want to know the truth re what payments I should continue to make and for how long. Additionally if I should be paying, it is very important that I can independently substantiate my daughter’s position so I can continue to pay as and when I wish.
Hi and welcome
The CSA are correct in that as they are not involved, it is not for them to comment.
Do you have any direct contact with your daughter? One solution would be to ask her on the basis that you'd rather pay her directly instead of the money going to your ex.
Hi
thanks for advice but no i have almost zero contact apart from them asking for money.
it is sad that dad's have apparently no legal right or avenue to confirm their children they are paying maintenance for are in fact in need of it.
i asked CSA and they said they would inform the dad when Child benefit had stopped so this was a way they would know the child had started work but as i am not going via CSA the Benefit agency will not tell me.
i shall ask CB if they will inform me with my ex wife's consent but i doubt even that will be allowed.
im being painted into a corner of not paying so she will have to prove it to me. ridiculous and unnecessary but i think thats the way it will go. Unless of course she will prove to me herself monthly she is in receipt of CB.....seems like no other avenue.
actd,
Also it wasnt so much as CSA wouldnt comment, they were on the 3x i called them very helpful and understanding. the fact was they could offer no solution, they basically couldnt see how a father could confirm their child was at school and should be in receipt of maintenance if they wanted to lie to you.
as you will see i paid maintenace whilst my eldest was at Uni. i didnt have to but i did. when she dropped out and started a good full time job no-one told me, i found out by accident a year later. I was of course still paying.
Hi
I'm afraid I would have to suggest that you consider stopping paying maintenance, but pay it into a savings account and tell you ex that you want evidence that your daughter is still in education, in which case you will pay the maintenance and arrears (from the savings account). As much as you don't want to do this, your ex has forced your hand.
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