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Hi, new to the forums but figured there may be people/admins on here who are clued up on the details of the question i`m about to ask.
Brief background to my circumstances, wife (together 9 years, married for 4) had 3 affairs during time we were together, i had enough and left the family home last June. Me leaving was the only option since she has two children by her ex husband who i was dad to for pretty much the whole time we were together aswell as our daughter who is now 7 - i realise that no matter what her indiscretions are/have been, the 3 children should stay together, and its probably right and proper that they are all with their mother. She isnt a bad mother (well, aside from her inability to keep her clothes on at work).
Since then i`ve continued to pay half of an enormous mortgage on top of my own rent / bills etc for a place i had to get. The stress of divorce proceedings (which are now almost complete, i`m at decree Nici stage), and managing money which has been extremely difficult has led my health to deteriorate and my job/performance at work has suffered.
My question relates to child maintenance and its links to access rights. In the summer my job situation will change and theres a very high probability i will end up no longer being employed. If i have no income from a job, are my rights to access to see my daughter affected by this. I understand that child maintenance is calculated based on rates of income which i have reviewed, and i can see that there are even Nil rates if you have zero income. My wife has threatened me with no access to see my daughter (she currently stays with me one day a week at the weekend and i see her one night a week after work) if i was to end up being unable to pay maintenance due to having no income (i.e. if my job goes).
Thanks in advance for any info you guys might be able to provide, or if there are some good reads out there i havent found yet on the subject any links would be appreciated.
Hi and welcome
The simple answer to your question is that legally speaking, there is no link whatsoever between contact and maintenance. If your income goes down, or disappears altogther, then you will be liable for maintenance at a reduced rate, but this does not affect your contact at all. Some mothers (you'll see loads of cases on here) try to prevent contact if maintenance is reduced, but they have no right at all to do so. Likewise, if your ex prevents contact, you do not have the right to withhold maintenance.
hi there, now going down the CSA route (having actively encouraged to the ex to contact them and put this in place so things can be done properly since i can no longer manage to support her mortgage and my own rent/bills).
which has led her to advise me she is now planning to deny me access to my daughter. So - mediation is what i`m looking at now. I contacted a local firm to enquire about how mediation works and i got a friendly helpful response but ... not impressed with the timescales, 14-21 days depending on the solicitors availability and even if mediation fails (for example if the ex doesnt attend her meeting) i still then would have to take the result of that to an alternative solicitor (apparently the one doing the mediation is not allowed to provide advice/act on my behalf which makes sense).
So, question, is it always a sensible option to go through mediation first. Are there any benefits to doing so if you feel its going to end up with solicitors anyway? She said if the ex doesnt turn up to a mediation appointment but i do, that i`m signed off and my solicitor would obtain an FM1 form from the mediation solicitor to file wiht my application for a defined contact order.
All gets very complicated. Anyone know if my ex is obliged to cooperate in mediation or is it purely an informal thing?
Thanks
Hi there 🙂
Did you get the Mediation through the National Mediation service or privately?
Did you intend to self represent or have a solicitor represent you if it goes to court?
Courts are very likely to expect that Mediation would have been attempted before they consider any formal application, so its usually a good idea to try Mediation as a first step. If Mediation hasnt been attempted the Court will usually order it at the first hearing anyway.
Your ex is under no obligation to attend Mediation but it would indicate her inflexibility and would be seen as unreasonable....if she has a solicitor they would normally recommend she attends Mediation.
Hi there thankyou for your prompt response.
I havent applied for mediation yet - i was wondering basically if its sensible to do so if its likely to go to court anyway - it seems a fair assumption like you have written that any unwillingness by my ex to attend mediation would be seen in a bad light which would be favourable to me.
I havent even considered the possibility of self representation if it goes to court. I have gone through the whole of my divorce process myself without a solicitor because it was a straight forward adultery case (me filing against her) and i had both her and the co defendant acknowledging the adultery. I consider solicitors an absolute last resort but .... i wouldnt know where or how to begin representing myself in court when taking it to that stage if mediation fails. Is it straight forward?
I hadnt heard of the national mediation service (i think i need to look that up 🙂 ... but as with most things in life i suspect thats not without cost also ?
Thanks again nanny 😛
Chris
...Have a look at the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, theres a couple about self representing and one about the C100 form which is the form that you would submit to the court. There are many Dads here that have chosen to self represent, my son included, so you will get plenty of advice and support if you choose to go this route. To be honest if you have already navigated through the divorce proceedings without the financial burdens of a solicitor, you will be more than capable of doing the same over contact. Its very doable, its just a matter of being well organized, preparation is key!
Heres a link to the Mediation Service I mentioned, they will probably be the cheaper option as I think they take earnings into account. Mediation is still funded for people who are in receipt ogf benefits or on a low income. The same applies for the £200 fee to submit the C100 form to Court.
www.nfm.org.uk
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