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basically folks im looking for some advice on the finacial side. since i left my wife in july 2011 i have paid well over the odds financially due to a loan she has in her name. i have taken the payments down alot but am still paying double what i actually need to. i dont want my daughter to lose out if i stop payin as much as a do but im runnin out of options and have serious money worries myself. any advice would be grarefully appreciated.
you are legaly obliged to pay the CSA amount depending on how much you earn and how much time your kids spends with you.
anything over that amount is at your discression...you do not need to give your ex a penny more if you dont want too. Your kid wont go without, im sure you will spoil daughter with the extra cash you have to spend on her when she is with you.
i was in the exact same position, i was giving her nearly £2k a month as i didnt want my kids to lose out on anything just because i wasnt there...i was living on nothing surviving on hand outs....the more you give..the more they will take....start taking back some for yourself...what you are entitled to...you need to live too....but wont be easy...you will get the guilt trip...big time....my ex is still playing silly buggers coz i refused to give her more money for school uniforms....making it difficult for me to see the kids....but my kids know i love them and im always there for them.
good luck...dont let her bleed you dry.
Hi there,
I agree with the above, CSA set a amount to pay you don't have to pay anything over this if you are not able too.
If you allow yourself to get into debt then you will end up not being able to live.
Darren
Hi
You could come to a family based arrangement which will avoid the CSA - this allows you to pay to your ex whatever is agreed between yourselves. You could come to an arrangement to pay for certain things for your daughter and towards certain household bills to make sure your daughter doesn't go without anything she needs, and you could then top up if necessary to make the amount up to slightly more than the CSA amount (but not as much as you are paying now) - this is the incentive for your ex to agree to this, otherwise you pay the CSA amount only, in which case your ex will lose out financially.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
