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Hi
Can anyone offer us some advice please? My two stepdaughters live with their mother but next year, one of them is starting college near us and therefore wants to live with us. We currently don't go through the CSA but have a mutual agreement.
We think things will get messy when we discuss money with ex-wife, i.e. no longer pay maintenance as she will have one daughter and we will have the other. Therefore, we want some facts before we have this discussion and CSA weren't very helpful when we contacted them as we currently don't use them.
If things do get messy and we end up going through the CSA - will they take in to consideration that my husband earns more than his ex-wife even though she works full-time and therefore still expect us to pay something?
Is anyone in a similar situation?
Hi, We were in the same position 2 years ago, what we did was stopped paying but allowed her to keep the child benifit for the child living with us.
On another note i think you are very brave in having your step daughter live with you. We nearly split up over it as she was such a daddys girl and after a few months of constant upset she went back to her mums. Her mums rules were basicly do what you want and my hubby waited on her hand and foot. My advise is to make sure you and hubby are on the same wave length before she moves in and agree on ground rules and talk to your step daughter in a family meeting
I think the child benefit will be the 'ace up our sleeve'. My husband seems to think we will still have to pay something because he thinks, although we don't know for certain, that he earns more than his ex-wife. We want to be armed with facts before we have the 'talk' because although she knows that my stepdaughter is coming to live with us, we really don't believe she knows that she won't be getting the maintenance anymore!
On the other note, thank you for your advice and luckily I have a good relationship with my stepdaughter, a better one than she has with her own mother. Although she used to be a daddy's girl, she has matured but I am also under no illusion that it will be easy, as I remember what it was like to be a teenager with my own parents! (Poor them!). We talk all the time and she can see reason, most of the time! 😉
Hi there and welcome 🙂
Theres a sticky at the top of the Finance section (the one you posted this on) titled How to calculate CSA payments. If you follow the link, it will bring up a CSA leaflet that explains practically everything and will help you to calculate what you might be liable for.
The way it would work is that you would both be liable for maintenance. The mother would have to pay you for the daughter you have living with you and vise versa. The amount is dependent on salary, so her payments would be less that yours if she is on less money. If she didnt work then she wouldnt pay anything .
It might be a good idea to do the calculations for all scenarios. What it would be if you split the child benefit and maintenance and what it would be if you stuck to the informal agreement or created a new informal agreement. If you decided to go through the CSA, you would have to claim the child benefit for the child that lives with you before they would recognize you as the resident parent.
Thank you. I was concerned that they would work it out on wages and that we would end up still paying albeit no where near the amount that we pay now for both daughters. Unfortunately I have no idea how much the mother is paid other than she works full time. At least if it all goes horribly wrong (which we hope not because at the moment we have an amicable relationship) at least we know we can apply for child benefit and go through CSA which I don't think she would want as she currently already goes through them for her son with her second marriage (her son lives with his dad)!! We'll cross our fingers and hope she sees the sense of it. 🙂
...if you know what she does for a living you could calculate on a ball park figure, it will give you a rough guide.
Good luck with everything and do let us know how you get on 🙂
Hi Frankers
Put very simply, you husband will pay 15% of his takehome pay to his ex, and she will pay 15% of her income to your husband, so if your husband earns more, then he will be paying more than he is receiving from her. Don't worry about finding out what she earns, if she is is willing to volunteer this, then you go for a family based arrangement. If she isn't willing, then ask the CSA to take the case and they'll find out her earnings and sort it out.
With regards to child benefit, as soon as your step daughter comes to live with you, apply for this to be paid to you. It's actually beneficial anyway as it means both you husband and his ex will get the single child benefit, which is more than is paid if both children live in the same home.
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