Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have been paying for my child every month since I split from his mother, I am on minimum wage, I live with my parents and am responsible for 1/3 of the rent and council tax plus I need to eat. I have been paying my ex the same amount as the CSA say I have to pay, but now they have got involved and say I owe back pay from when my son was born 4 years ago. I dont owe anything but they wont listen, she has even told them but they still want to take £390 a month from my wages. This means I cant pay my share of the rent etc so my mum and stepdad have to pay all the rent, they are already stuggling as my mum has been very ill for years and has only just managed to get a part time job. I also buy my sons clothes and shoes and anything else he needs, he stays with me every other weekend and half of school holidays. Please can anyone give me advice
The CSA calculate from when they first become involved, rather than backdating, so I'm not sure why they are doing this now - the only way I can think this is happened is if your ex has been on benefits and has been getting maintenance from the government, but I don't know this side of the CSA rules at all. You need to speak to the CSA to ask them to explain exactly why they think you owe these arrears and how they've been calculated.
They took their time with my parents, my mum and dad split up in 1995, my dad was working the whole time and never paid my mum a penny, he wouldnt even help out when he new my mum had nothing. Finnally after 17 years the CSA caught up with my dad and made him pay back pay, but he only had to pay for 6 months as the youngest of us turned 19, so he didnt end up paying everything he owed anyway. So while my mum struggled he was going on holidays to africa, bulgareia and seeing the world. I realise now after all these years why my mum was so skinny, its because she was going without food to make sure us kids had a good dinner, she would eat our left overs. my mum was unable to work as she had 2 children with disabilities and for years had to fight for disability benefits. My mum did everything for us and made sure we had everything we needed, we had a good upbringing thanks to her. I am not like my father I want to make sure my son is well fed and well dressed and has everything he needs including a healthy mum. I talk to his mum now but wouldnt say we are friends. I have been paying my ex every month since we split up nearly 3 years ago, but since her waste of space partner got sacked from his job she had to go back on benefits and now the CSA reackon I owe 3 years worth of payments even though shes told them that I have paid her and has an agreement with me.
I'm not sure if the appeals procedure but I'd certainly tell them you wish to appeal- I think there may be a 28 day limit for this. I'd also go and see your MP to ask him to write to the CSA - take a summary of everything so you can hand this to your MP so nothing is left out.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.