Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
Brief overview:
I have a 14yr old and 10yr old. Divorced 10 yrs, still only communicate with my ex via very brief texts when it suits her. We have court orderd contact. She has residency but I see the boys regularly with a 4 week rota giving 8 over night contact stays and school holidays roughky split in half.
Over the last year my ex has allowed and encouraged the boys to not come in my court ordered time. Since January I have had 19 nights contact refused. In general I get a last minute text saying something to the effect of "the boys wish to stay here, I hope you understand and support their decision as we do" .
This has been against my wishes and I have replied saying i do not agree and would move but not lose the time.
If I refuse the changes the boys are not at her home when I go to get them and are not there at any suggested time i ask to move contact to so I have no way of keeping the contact.
The CSA have now been infomred by my ex of the nights I do not have them and my payments have increased by nearly £100 per month.
The CSA have looked at the period reported which covered a lot of lost contact against my wishes. They have estimated that over the year my contact will be 102 nights changing my bracket. I have calculated that over the year I will have the boys for 104 but they will only forecast over the period she has reported and not look at the entire year, nor will they re pay me at the end of the year when it shows 104 nights were had.
I cannot go back to court to get the order enforced as I know my mid week contact will be taken away as my son is now 14 and my ex will (wrongly) argue he needs stability in the week as his GCSEs approach. She has hated this mid week contact I think the boys will not wish to side against their mum on anything at the moment.
Do I have any route direct with the CSA as at the moment my ex is being financially rewarded for breaking court orders?
If I were to go to court as a last resort could I request the application fee to the courts and extra CSA payments which came as a result of my ex withholding contact be paid by my ex?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.