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Hi all,
Long storey short my and my ex have a 5 year old who will be 6 in Feb I have him every other weekend and pay maintenance via weekly standing order.
I get on with my ex but can be up and down due to her bipolar and our most popular arguments are money based when it comes to items outside of maintenance the most recent regarding sending pocket money over for her holiday with him out of the blue.
I'm concerned she will now get him his own bank account card when he's 6 and can't help but think that will be our new argument her texting me to send him money all the time or worst still making him ring me while she is right next to the phone,I would feel more relaxed getting him a card he only uses when he's at mine and that I chose what amount and when so I'm not put on the spot,does anybody have this issue?
hi,
I just pay the kids mum through the child maintenance service. They give me a fixed amount to pay each month, so there has never been any requests or arguments about money. If it gets too much for you, then this is something you could consider. but still I think it is better to keep a private arrangement, as long as its stress-free.
if your kid is that young, you guys should be providing everything between you for him. you dont want them thinking about banks accounts and cards at this young age, it just changes their mindset i beleive
@Vik2001 yes and a child bank account, the mother still has full control and can spend the money on whatever she wants.
@bill337
Cheers both
Yes this is what I'm worried most about as she's a spenderholic and along with her bipolar she can appear fraudulent with me and if she struggling I'm worried she will pretend son and her are on holiday and to send £50 for e.g to his account as she knows I have no idea what's going on while we live separately and that where the tension will begin she will say " what no pocket money for your son!" Etc put on the spot on my day off out of the blue.
What should be my approach on this just say that account is between you and him ?
Might be worth looking at what facilities the new digital only banks offer - you can probably get a card for your son, but restrict what it's used for and when, and how much.
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