[Solved] spouse maintenance

Hi and welcome to the forum

I've posted a similar reply to another posting today, and basically you need to get specialist advice from a divorce lawyer - see if you can get a free consultation first to give you some idea of what to expect, and to make sure you are happy with the person who will be representing you. The children's legal centre don't give advice on divorce law.

I am speaking from my own experiences here, but there are no hard and fast rules governing maintenance payments and equity - if you can come to an agreement, then the court may grant a consent order (though they aren't obliged to accept the agreement if they have good reason to think it may be unjust) - if you can do this, then it may be worth compromising a little more than you would wish to as you could well save - more than you have compromised - on legal fees. The courts do expect your wife to work, if she is able to do so, and it would seem reasonable to expect her to do so in your case. The courts could insist that your ex remains in the house to provide for your children - that would have an effect on the maintenance that you would pay, but you would want to fight for a share of the equity when your children leave home. However, they may accept an argument that they could live comfortably in a smaller house, but in that case, you may find yourself paying more maintenance to make sure she can cover the mortgage, and you couldn't then expect any of the equity later on. All of the above is my opinion only, but hopefully will help you to frame the questions you need to be asking your solicitor.

Hi

Thanks for getting back to me, the thing that bothers me is that she's after 75% of the equity (equity is around £185k). She can work but chooses not to, ok she has the 2 hr a week post office thing, but a few years ago she did have a full time job. She has posted over her facebook as she puts it " i am going on job seekers not seek a job a going to get spouse allowance"
I thought there was a law passed recently that says that if you have children over 7 then you have to work. I am going thru mediation with her at the moment and trying to come to an arrangement where money is concerned. She has been to two solicitors already costing £600 and got rid of them both for what ever reason. I agree in providing enough money for another house so our children have a good home to go to. Trouble is she keeps looking at houses in the £200,000 bracket even thought the average three bed house in this area is £160,000. She has been approved for a mortgage of £30,000 at £64 a month interest only, So surely she can afford a £60,000 interest only. I would agree to her keeping £110 k to £120 k leaving me £75 k to £65 k, is this not a reasonable amount.
Can she just sit on her [censored] and refuse to work, can she go after the house she like rather then being fair?

Hi

From my experience, your ex needs a secure home to bring up the kids. Bringing up two children will mean that she cannot work full time. Maintenance and equity are linked, if you gave 75% of the house then the mentenance could be lower. Do your best to come to an agreement.

Hi SG

A couple of thoughts on your reply.

First, keep a copy (ideally a screen print) of the facebook entry, and any others that she may post - keep the fact that you are doing this quiet for as long as possible - once she realised you are watching it, she'll be more careful what she posts, so give her as long as possible to drop herself in it. Presenting this to a judge is certainly going to help your argument that she can provide at least some of her income herself.

Second, you say she has already got rid of a couple of solicitors - it's possible that she is doing this because they are telling her something she doesn't want to hear, possibly that her demands have a low probability of succeeding. I would certainly bear in mind that she may do this in future, so your solicitor could be prepared for the eventuality by keeping a file of papers to be sent to a new solicitor should she do this - this could save you money in your own solicitors fees.

Personally, I'd go for 50%, but you could have a fallback of suggesting that you retain 25% interest (this would reduce her mortgage to 25%) to be realised when the youngest (of YOUR children - in case she has children with anyone else) - that way you are providing a place for your children, and she'd have enough to get somewhere smaller when the children leave home.

Hi

I agree we have to provide a suitable accommodation for the children, but she has worked full time and can do again now, the children are 9 and 12. I begrudge having to work my bits off so she can sit around watching jeremy kyle show. We have been to mediation today and I have asked for £75 k of the equity as there are houses in this area where she'll need £110k plus £60k mortgage and I can only get £95. So it looks like this maybe achievable for both of us. I keep records of everything, and deff do not tell her.Also she kept or I should say tried to keep quite about her personal pension that her Dad set up for her 32 years ago thru his old business. At the end of the day its the kids that important, and I am a lone parent not an absent father. We have rights to, and more so these days.. I will keep you informed..

Ps I do think mediation is the way forward, it makes things so much more black and white.

Woooahh - sounds like a decent pension there, and that's certainly something that the court will take into account as part of her total assets, so you could have a very good bargaining point here 🙂

Just to clarify, I agree with you about the fact that she should be working, and not just sitting around living off your maintenance.

Ironic thing is she has been to the benefits advise at CAB and with working tax credits her earnings and what I have to give her she has a monthly income of £2037, so I've said that's great. This will help us when we come to agree on financial separation. Meaning as you now can afford a bigger mortgage you wont need £110 k from the equity. Maybe I can have £10 k more.. you can guess the answer to that one "f*cking no way!" she says. great I have an out going of £950 with mortgage and what i'll need to pay her leaves me £1300 she has an out going of £250 on her mortgage leaving her £1787 to herself a month... [censored] is all that about..

Listen thanks all for your help, and I mean thanks...