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My ex has moved her new partner in to the home where my 14 year old daughter is living. he has a 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship and has supervised access only, yet he has regular unsupervised access with my daughter. do i have a right to find out more about this guy, and also should i contact social services??
Hi There,
If you read post's on this forum you will find many dads have supervised access to thier children it isn't always as it seems, many dads loose un supervised contact as the childs mother tries as hard as possible to stop contact out of spite.
Weher this may or may not be the case with this chap, don't jump the gun and think there is a really bad reason, but maybe ask your ex a little more about why this is in place.
Darren
I'd also have a good chat with your daughter, so that she knows that if ever she feels unsafe, she can talk to you and you will work out with her what needs to be done so she does feel safe. As long as she feels that she is involved in the process, hopefully she will speak to you immediately if she is worried there may be a problem.
Hi There,
Weher this may or may not be the case with this chap, don't jump the gun and think there is a really bad reason, but maybe ask your ex a little more about why this is in place.
Darren
Agreed that supervised access is probably innocent, theres plenty of dads who are forced into this by bitter ex wives as a way of getting their revenge. When my ex left me out of the blue I was offerred a 2 hour supervised visit every 2 days (over Christmas) and with all modesty can say that I was, and am, a good father and that there was no reason for supervised contact at all but my solicitor actually told me how lucky I was to get this.
Over the years I've seen how easy it is for a mother to exclude a dad completely from their kids lives so can see his point now, at the time I was stunned.
However; as for asking your ex about this I'd be very very careful. If you parted as friends and still have a very friendly relationship then she may take it well BUT I know how a lot of ex's would see it as an attack on their new bf and try to get back at you whilst turning a blind eye to your concerns.
Its far too easy for a mother as PWC to turn her strong position against you.
If you do have serious concerns then I would consider invoking Sarah's law with her local police force to see if you can get a background check done on him.
I'd also have a good chat with your daughter, so that she knows that if ever she feels unsafe, she can talk to you and you will work out with her what needs to be done so she does feel safe. As long as she feels that she is involved in the process, hopefully she will speak to you immediately if she is worried there may be a problem.
Another good idea ... as long as you don't implicate the new bf in why she may ever feel concerned.
If her mother is the sort that would get this information out of her then as in my post above, you may end up getting in trouble off your ex.
Supervised access doesn't mean that he shouldn't be near your 14 year old. It could be that, that was the only access he was able to get.
Do you have any other reason to be concerned ? or is it just the Supervised access ?
What is your current relationship with your ex like - is this something you could discuss without tempers becoming frayed ?
Gooner
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