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I am approaching a time when my self employment must collapse (dwindling custom/high materials costs) but without maintenance from my EX (she lives Brazil) as well as the impossible work situation where I live
I doubt whether I will be able to keep myself and two primary age children. Adoption seems right. And wrong. My EX is in total agreement with adoption (well she would be as she doesn't want parental responsibility) but, even though the idea seems good for the children's welfare, it would be traumatic for them at first and ... it would destroy me. That sounds mighty selfish. I want to consider what would be best for their future and I seriously doubt whether I shall be able to support them, if not in 12 months time then certainly in say ten years when I'll be 67 (!) and they 17 and 13 :boohoo:
Has anyone experience of placing their children for adoption and the effects of this action?
Hello there 🙂
Well I really dont know what to say...I have no experience of adoption but I can imagine how traumatic it must be for all parties concerned, and for you to be considering it things must seem pretty bleak to you.
I understand that the work situation is bad at the moment, times are harder for lots of people but I would hope that with two young children to care for there is help out there. As you have one child under 5 I know you are entitled to claim benefits and wouldnt be expected to sign on as available for work. Have you looked into what benefits you are entitled to? A good place to start is the Citizens Advice Bureau, they are a free advice service and will be able to tell you all about the different benefits you are entitled to, and can even help you to claim them. If you talk to them about your fears for the future they may be able to put you in touch with organizations that might be able to help.
If you can be supported then I would hope that this course of action can be avoided....Adoption is a very final thing and the impact on the children would be immense, its always better to try and keep families together....I understand that you are an older parent and I would imagine this is affecting how you're feeling about the future. I think you need to talk to someone about it, do you belong to a local church as often they have a good network of people that help others...I know they helped my sister in law when she was at her lowest. There may be charities that could help ease the burden.
Hi Ive read back on your posts and my heart goes out to you, Is your wife still in prison ? and how are your children now settling in. Its a shame about your business.
Have a look at the goverment benefit site you can do a dummy run to see what you will be entitled to if your business has to close. I can see why you would think the children would be better aopted but I bet they wouldnt see it like that. Have you any family nearby or friends that could give you a break ?
I would look at every other option - not only would your children lose their father (having already lost their mother), but there is the real chance they could lose each other as well, there would be no guarantee that they would stay together. I cannot see any way possible that this can be best for your children - the best thing for them is the family they know, and your age doesn't matter.
I would speak to Children's services - their first priority is the welfare of the children, and if you are struggling to cope, then they will do their best to help and support you. If you call them in early, then they you can prepare for whatever comes.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
