Hey,
I am new to this forum! My name is Paul and I am 42, I run a successful electrical company, very shy! . I have been a single Dad now for over 8 years with 2 kids, one boy 18 and a girl who is 14. And I think its time I started seeing or try and date again. I just wanted any advice if people started again and how there kids reacted to it? Especially teenagers, do you think I would need to ask tell them to find out there reaction?
Some advice would be great, I also tried asking for some advice on other forums (singlewithkids), and dating help sites (wowdate) but no one seems to want to offer any advice.
Thanks,
Paul 🙂
Hi Paul and welcome 🙂
I'm amazed you have waited so long!
Listen, it's very difficult to predict how your children would react, but I think it's a good idea to talk to them about it. Begin by reassuring them that they are no1 in your life and that will never change. Don't ask their permission, but ask them how they would feel about it and what you could do to make it easier for them when the time comes.
You can date without telling them, there's no need... and I wouldn't introduce them to dates, only enter this phase if you become serious about someone. In that case you would begin a gradual introduction, starting with something informal like bowling. Small steps.... and it's my feeling when they see how happy and relaxed you are they will be happy for you.
If there is a problem it's more likely to come from your daughter, who at 14 is at that in between age. She is more likely to feel her position is threatened, but with careful and thoughtful management you should be able to deal with any angst....once a child sees there is no threat and their position is unassailable things would settle.
Best of luck with the dating! 😉
Nanny Jane! Thank you so much for giving me your time and replying! I for sure will take your advice and I think I will start again, I just hope I can meet someone amazing, I dont think I will tell them either, I think your right its best to wait until I meet that special someone.
Thanks again,
Paul 🙂
I agree with NJ, except I think your daughter might actually like the idea of you dating, and possibly help you search, give advice on what to wear, etc etc - but then only you know your daughter, so I could be wrong and NJ could be right 🙂
Definitely amazed you've waited so long. I would heartily recommend online dating - definite advice though, that if the site generates a default description/profile of you, don't go with that, write your own (and if I am right above, your daughter will help 🙂 ) - having used online dating myself in the past, I didn't even consider anyone with a generated profile on the basis that they didn't have the imagination to even write about themselves. Doesn't have to be anything over the top - just honest (and mention you are shy - that way there are no surprises) and I think you'll be surprised at the response you get. Good luck, and let us know how you get on - you could even blog on here about your experiences 🙂
I am pretty sure your kids are old enough and this won't be a n issue. They will be even glad!