Hi im going through court in January as my ex has stopped all contact between me and my daughter after she found out I was in a new relationship.
I can't afford a solicitor so have done all forms by myself. I was expecting to receive her C7 weeks ago and never did. So I assumed she didn't have a solicitor and didn't know she had to send it back.
Anyway on Friday cafcass called me and said that she has told them that I have verbally threatened her with violence. That she thinks ill abduct our daughter. And that she thinks I am mentally unstable and that this would have an emotional effect on our daughter.
I was seeing a psychiatrist a few years ago as I was depressed and I was signed off as fit and well a few months later. She knows about this and I think this is why she is using this so that they'll find it when they do checks and so on.
As for her thinking id abduct our daughter I work a full time job I now have another child and over all I wouldn't ever take her away from her mother or her nursery and so on as we live in different areas. She has also said I have threatened to abduct her.
The apparent threats of violence never happened and she is saying this as she said it was verbal and she'd need no evidence I guess she just assumes theyll take her word for it. I've never threatened this woman in my life.
I have now not seen my daughter for 6 months. And I hate. I have had to save up the money for child arrangements order and obviously before this mediation. As well as paying my daughters mother maintenance.
Does anyone know what would happen in court I'm worried that with my previous mental health it will now be used against me. It makes me feel as though id be worried to seek help again from medical professionals in case it is used against me.
I assume she would need some sort of proof for these alligations?
Court is 2nd Jan and other than all this stress I won't even be allowed to see my daughter for Christmas.
It’s a stressful time for you, were you open with the CAFCASS officer about your medical history... I’m pretty sure that if it was years ago, and was resolved, they won’t dwell on it over much.
Courts are well used to seeing contact stopped when a new partner arrives on the scene. It’s a good idea to prepare a brief position statement to take with you to the hearing. Just a couple of pages, with a little background, your concerns and what you would like the court to do.
Mention that contact was going well for a long period of time, right up until you started a new relationship, at which point your ex stopped all contact.
Assure the court that you have never been violent or abusive to your ex and can’t understand why she should make such accusations and leave it there... again a couple of sentences about what you would think about her allegation of taking your child, the full time job and the fact that you have another child and don’t even live in the same area, with reassurances that you wouldn’t dream of removing her from her mothers care, as a child need both parents involved in their life.
As she has made allegations of violence, it’s likely the court will order more in-depth welfare reports, if that’s the case they may not want to order contact... if that happens push for interim contact in a contact centre, stating that your daughter will be confused and upset at the sudden cessation of contact and it would be in her best interests for some form of contact to resume... there are no guarantees they will agree but worth trying.
All the best
I’m really sorry for what you are going through. I had similar, eventually the ex escalated her allegations to say she was afraid I was going to kill her, it was just sad to see.
My case took 18 months and finished with an order saying the child lives with both of us with a time split of 60/40 in favour of the ex. I’m just saying that so that you know that while this is all very distressing, upsetting and wrong, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
If your ex is making allegations you will need to respond, but don’t let that distract from the positives of your relationship with your daughter.
I’m really sorry if you do indeed miss out on Christmas, that’s a really hard one.