Hiya. I've been reading the threads but this is my first post.
I've been with my partner for three years and it's ace. She has a 4 year old and I love her to bits too. Recently we have found out she is expecting and is now at 14 weeks. Life is amazing.
But recent I have started to feel jealous. Not a rational jealousy. But one where I feel sick at the thought of her with her ex's. Not [censored] but her holding and cuddling them. And this is an alien emotion for
me.
Now to put this into perspective. I haven't become a raging green eyed Godzilla and this hasn't affected us. I think I have a lid on it . But still.,...
I have said to her about yet and she was lovely. I know it's about hormones and change and building a family. I know men are protective, possessive, territorial creatures.
But still....is this normal??
Just wondering if any of you guys have felt like this?
Every single relationship I've been in has elements of jealousy from both sides. Sometimes more so, sometimes less.
Yes, it is normal. We are all emotional beings who don't want to lose what we have. Especially when we love someone.
I think the fact that your partner is pregnant though should go some way towards showing you that she is committed to you and wants to build a family with you. But now that she is pregnant maybe you feel that you have more to lose if she is unfaithful.
In the end, if a partner is unfaithful, there is little we can do to stop it. It's one of the facts of life that both men and women do cheat and it's something that we have to accept. But we have to manage our emotions and not let that spoil what is good here and now. Worrying about what could happen months or years in the future is just going to make things more difficult for both yourself and your partner. How much you share your feelings of jealousy with your partner can both be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how extreme you are. If she knows you are jealous she might actually feel more loved and cared for (my ex partner was actually quite chuffed when I raised the subject once!). But if you start checking her text messages or causing arguments things will start to go downhill rapidly.
Trust is earned. You haven't said how long you've been together or if there has been any unfaithfulness in the past so I'm assuming you're quite strong together. Accept what you have and enjoy it. Don't put too much emphasis on what if's and just show her how much you love her. Relationships based on trust and communication are usually the ones that last.
I agree with the above, but I suppose it depends on whether it gets better or worse - if it starts to consume you, then I would look at counselling as it could start to damage the relationship.