[Solved] IN NEED OF SOME SERIOUS ADVISE PLEASE!!
So from the begining me and my ex partner split up after a long term relationship and after time apart decided to give things another go. one week when i stayed at hers trying to patch things up we slept together over the weekend and the following weekend it had all came to light that she was also sleeping with someone else only 5 days apart and i found out. once the whole situation calmed down i realised i cant be with her anymore and went my seperate way, a few month down the line she got in contact with me to tell me she was pregnant and i was the father 100 percent. I then accepted this and knew i had to step up and prepare myself to be a dad and also wanted to stand by my potental child she even agreed to having a dna test to prove the baby was mine. I was happy to pay whatever the cost for my child, attend all scans appointments, everything thats involved. At this point we are still not together weeks went by everything was ok ect then i started seeing someone new i am now in a happy healthy relationship this is the point where everything turned sour.
My ex started to believe that my new relationship would be my only priority and that i didnt care about her or the baby and that i was not to come to any scans and she wanted nothing from me. I went into panic mode and tried everything to convince her otherwise yet she cut contact with me i emailed her time and time again to not miss out on scans and to check in to make sure the baby was ok and to see how she was doing. anyway many more weeks later i had her family get involved and message me because i was still emailing to see how the scans went and to ask where i stood. I was told to stay away and the baby wants nothing from me and im not to be involved when the baby arrives. I just dont fully understand what right she has to take that from me i work full time in a great job bringing in a good wage dont do drugs or anything like that and would class myself as a honest, hardworking decent person and i want to be there for the baby.
My question is where do i go from here i am still not convinced the baby is 100 percent mine i want her to get a dna test but know i cant ask her to so can the family courts make her take a dna test ? i have also been told if she puts father unknowing on birth certificate i have no rights at all to have any say yet i will still be left with this cloud over me with the question is the baby mine and if so i want things in place so i can be there. Could really do with some solid advise would be much appricated
I'm a bit unsure on some of this so hopefully others will fill in or correct.
It's not unusual for a mother to go this way when the ex boyfriend (ie you) finds someone else - it's just human nature I'm afraid.
Firstly, until the baby is born, you have absolutely no rights whatsoever, so you'll need to take a step back, and I would keep all coontact to an absolute minimum, otherwise she could claim that you are harrassing her, and that's something you don't want to have to deal with.
Once the baby is born, you are able to apply to the court for them to order a DNA test and if it proves that you are the father, to have your name put on the birth certificate, and you will be given parental responsibility. Of course, if she applies for maintenance from you, you can dispute paternity and pay for a dna test, and if it proves that you are the father, then that will help you in court, and you'll be responsible for paying child maintenance.
Great advice there by ACTD, You must try and cut out the emails ect she can and more than likely will get a non molestation order out on you, they seem to dish them out left right and centre these days .
There's not a lot you can do to be honest during the pregnancy so you're just going to have to ride it out I experienced something like your situation and it wasn't nice but baby was mine.
Wait until baby is born and if she still isn't playing ball apply to the court and get a dna test done it's pretty straight forward then you can take things from there.
In the meantime try and not let it all take over of your life or make the situation worse.
all the best slim
Hi, great advice from Slim and actd.
Once the baby is born, if the mother won't communicate or acknowledge you, you can apply to the court using a C63 form for a Declaration of Parentage.
Thanks for advice so i will have to ride it out until the baby is born and then apply to the court with a c63 ? when i printed off the c63 at the top of the application form it did state to attach birth certificate with application obvously i cant get ahold of certificate as the mother wants no contact with me and has told me she is putting father unknowing so my question is can i still send off the c63
I believe that you can apply for a copy of the birth certificate anyway, as long as you know where it is registered and the date of birth.
Yes, you have to wait for the child to be born.