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[Solved] Irrational jealousy

New Member Registered

So my wifes 31 weeks pregnant and throughout I've felt a little left out (her family are very 'having a baby is all about mum and she should be the main caregiver' and I should just go to work and provide)

Today I'm having a massive spout of, what I feel is, completely irrational jealousy. She said she didnt want a baby shower so I was thinking of organising a nice joint family meal where males can come too and celebrate.
However her friend and mum organised her a completely surprise big baby shower today at her mums house - nobody even said a word to me that they were planning it - apparently they couldnt trust me not to say anything. Safe to say I'm not doing my meal now.

Shes got loaded of presents, cake, flowers etc.. and I just feel completely alone in the shadows.

I know they did a nice thing.. but I just feel left out and a bit jealous. I've never really felt like this before!

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me and I'm a horrible person?

Topic starter Posted : 15/02/2020 10:05 pm
Prominent Member Registered

Normal, don't worry about it. you can feel left out or not included when a new arrival imminent. people probably not realised how u may feel. as long as you are getting on with mum to be ok you will be fine

Posted : 15/02/2020 11:01 pm
Estimable Member Registered

Hello Farmship12,

I guess by now your wife will be close to or has had your baby? Please don't worry about your feelings. Becoming a parent is a big thing, and it affects both the mum to be and the dad to be's emotions. Have you tried to tell your wife how you feel? Perhaps you could plan your special meal for a time when the baby is born to celebrate, or plan some time just for you and your wife to be together. Many family members get excited at a new arrival so please don't take thier over enthusiasm with mum to be, to heart. You're not a horrible person and it sounds to me like you only want what's best for your wife and your new baby. Take each day at a time, but please remember to communicate with your wife and keep telling her how much you love her and that you will be there for her. I wish you both all the very best.

Parent Support Volunteer, Fegans

Posted : 07/04/2020 3:49 pm

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