Hi there,
I'm already happily a step-dad to my four year old son and my fiance and I are now expecting a new addition! We decided to start trying right after I proposed thinking it might take a while, and well, it didn't haha. I was very excited at first, we picked boy and girl names out, talked to our son about being a big brother and have made some plans to move to where mine and my wife to be's families are from.
With my job requiring me to travel, sometimes without much notice, it made sense to live where there would be a support system around when I'm away.
Lately I've been feeling disconnected and out of the loop, it has taken longer than expected to get set up for the first ultrasound and now it's likely I'll be away for work when it happens.
I'm feeling a bit resentful because my fiance procrastinated on getting her healthcare in order which prevented us from setting up an appointment. Now I feel that is weighing down on me and it came up in a disagreement between us. I knew this was building up and I feel guilty for ignoring the issue, letting it fester and then actualizing it in a negative way.
My fiance has been seeing a counselor for a while now due to stresses from her past relatiinships, ever since she's started working on this our relationship has gotten stronger but I feel I've taken us a step back now.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Feeling a little lost
Cheers
Hi there
Congratulations on your impending arrival!
The first scan is special, but you don’t have to miss out entirely, there are reputable companies that offer baby scanning services privately and they don’t cost a huge amount, it might be a good idea to set up an appointment for one of these, so that you can attend together and share In the special moment that these scans can provide. You can get 3D and 4d scans for an extra cost, which are fantastic and much better than the scans offered by the NHS...your baby will come alive on the screen!
It’s never too late to have a conversation with her and be open about what happened, if you explain how you were feeling and also that you feel bad about the way you reacted, that should be enough to draw a line under it.
All the best
If your fiancee is undergoing counselling, I think it would be well worth considering making that into counselling for both of you - her counsellor may do that or you could try someone like Relate.