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My son after a lot of hassle , court and mediation , now has contact with his 4 year old Daughter, one weekend a month and one Saturday a month, its not a lot but he lives 300 mile round trip and along with maintenance that's all he can afford. He's been seeing her regularly on and off for two and a half years(Mothers doing)
The weekend over night stays he comes to mine as its half way. The trouble is my Granddaughter will not allow him to do any personal contact, bath time she screams and sobs and shouts for Mummy, bed times goes mental, pushes him out of the room and sits behind the door, now I should step back but she is visibly upset and takes me hours to settle her, when he asks for my help so I now do the personal things, and I put her to bed which is fine as she goes to sleep in minutes. But now she wont do anything without me being with them, not even go to the park. She wont even sit on the settee next to him but will cuddle up with me or Granddad , she says things like. I dont love you , you're not fun , hes heart broken and doesn't know what to do or how to react. He does loads with her and he is fun. I have said maybe you should take her to yours as I feel while I am around she will play him up, but his ex hass put the stops on that and can only come to mine. I have tried taking a step back and on Sunday he gave her a bath she just screamed for an hour then curled up in her towel and sobbed . Anyone else get this ? I did ask her why she said she didn't love Daddy , she said because Mummy doesn't .
Hi There,
This is such a shame, as it seems she is picking up on her mums dislike for your son, which seems common these days unfortunately.
There are some things you can try, I think your right that she is playing up to you and acting as she does becuase your there to take over when needed, maybe you could have a day and evening out on the day your son arrives home with her so it's just the 2 of them and you aren't around to fall back on.
I have a feeling also that she may be picking up on your son's anguish towards the situation too and this won't help I'm sure he is desperate for it to all work out and to be close to her and I would imagine that she feels the anguish and and is reacting to it.
My mother is so desperate to be close to her grand daughter that she will push and push to be close and spend time with her that it unsettles her too much for her to relax, so my neice just screams until my sister takes her again.
I may be wrong but she may be picking up on his reactions.
I would try and get her used to your son doing everything for her and you stepping back, until she settles more with your son, maybe even leave your husband with them instead.
I hope it gets better for him as it must be awful having the time with her but not being able to enjoy it.
GTTS
Hi GTTS Thanks for the advise I think your spot on when you say shes picking up on my sons anguish its like hes trying too hard. Its so difficult, we didnt see her for the first 18 months of her life , she was allowed to bond with another Daddy !
My hubby and I are going to go out more when they are here and give them some space. Im just hoping things will calm down and the love he has for her will be returned .
Hi,
I'm sure it will calm down and she will start to bond with her real daddy again, it will just take time.
Use this as axcuse for your hubby to treat you and take you out 😉
GTTS
I agree with GTTS, I think given time she will come round, as long as he continues to make their time together fun. It's unfortunate that there is such distance between them but I'm sure your son is making the most of his time with his daughter.
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