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hi was looking a bit of advice, i have been with my partner for over 12yrs now, when we got together she had a 10 month old baby, over the yrs i have treated her as my own and she treats me like and calls me dad i have now got 2 other daughters aswell.
recently my eldest daughter decided she wanted to meet her biological father, as we knew his whereabouts my partner and myself got in contact with him and we arranged for her to meet him. I feel like i will lose her to her biological father which is hurting me so bad, I feel selfish as it is my daughters intrest that is the priority but can't help feeling like this. She has only met him a couple o times as the original meet was very recent but they get on very well and are so alike, i don't know if i'm just being jealous or wot but the hurt i'm feeling is unbearable, i could talk to my partner about this but would like some independent advice on how to cope from someone who has went through anything similar.
her biological father has started to give her money and has promised to buy her something special for her upcoming birthday. Am I just being silly and imaging that i could lose her or is there a possibilty this could happen.
Your comments and advice would be welcome
Thanx
A
I've never been in the situation you're in at the moment but I think you've got to take stock. You've been your eldest daughter's father (as in the man who was there for her when she needed you) for something like 12 years. That should count for something. Do you really think you daughter is going to throw all that away just because she's met her biological dad a few times? I think it's only natural to be nervous or even jealous of your daughter's relationship with her biological father. Is her mam also having these feelings? Maybe it would be handy to speak to her about it and see if she's in the same boat as you. I say it's natural to feel jealous or even hurt but you can't let these feelings take control. You have to still be there for your eldest because I can imagine it must be a bit weird and a tense time getting back in contact with her biological dad and all the emotional baggage that that entails.
If she's happy with the situation then I suppose you need to be happy with it too. Or she'll be upset with you because you're rainning on her parade so to speak. But that's why you've got to be there for her in case it all goes pear shaped and her biological dad does another disappearing act ( though hopefully not though). Finally I reckon the most important thing is to be open and honest about your feelings then they won't get all bottled up and miisdirected. Anyway that's my penny's worth. Good luck with it all. Keep coming back to dad talk if you need to let off more steam.
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