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[Solved] any advice welcome (1st timer!) its long but PLEASE read!


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(@Anonymous)
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Hi to anyone who reads this and thankyou in advance.

-Me single father 29 yrs old
-Ex single mother with 8month long partner 27 yrs old
-2 daughter 3yrs and 7 yrs
-Separated for 1yr ish
-I get child benefit, working and child tax credit for my eldest and the same for my ex but for the youngest.
-All medical, school and any postal items etc for my eldest is at my address and the same for my ex with the youngest.
-I have both girls every thurs,fri,sat and sun (till mon morn) then the next week fri,sat and sun (til mon morn)
-We signed a parental responsibility agreement for the eldest (automatic for the youngest)

OK i think that is the facts!
Now............ my ex is with her new guy (have separated 4 or 5 times) but he has beaten her up 2 times in the last 4 months, she did not call or want to call the police. I tried to get her to see past the "love is blind" thing but with no luck. She is a grown up so she will just have to make her own choices, for some reason the guy is going to be moving in with her for a few months while they look for a place together. I do not want him in the same house as my children as "when" it happens again i am concerned that my eldest may hear or see it happen. There is a stairgate on so only the eldest can get out to go to the loo at night.
With the above details i gave does it mean i have any right to have my eldest living with me full time but with my ex visiting? (we were never married)
I think this may be called physical custody (do i get this automaticly?)
Sorry for bad spelling, its not my strongest subject!

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(@Harveys Dad)
Joined: 17 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 257

Hi Benn510

Thanks for asking for some advice in what is a very serious situation. We want to get you the right information so we are going to ask our partners over at the Children's Legal Centre to respond to your question. We will also get a couple of our social worker buddies to make comment too. We will get back to you asap.

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(@Anonymous)
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Hi Benn510

Thanks for asking for some advice in what is a very serious situation. We want to get you the right information so we are going to ask our partners over at the Children's Legal Centre to respond to your question. We will also get a couple of our social worker buddies to make comment too. We will get back to you asap.

Thankyou so much for the help..

Benn

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(@Anonymous)
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mate, i dont know much about this but you can take it court and prove that your kids are living in a unsafe house (text messages, convo with your ex about it) with her new bf. Think it will take a few months to go through...other option i know of is social services, they see your the better safer carer and give you custordy. Hope all is ok

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Registered
(@Harveys Dad)
Joined: 17 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 257

Hi Benn510

Here is the reply from the CLC we hope it helps. Do post your thoughts as to their advise

Thank you for contacting the Children's Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.

If you wish to gain residence of your oldest child, you should seek a residence order from the court.

As you have parental responsibility, both you and the mother have similar rights to have the children living with you, however it is always advised that if you can not agree to a child living with one parent permanently then a court order should be sought to avoid any hostilities, police involvement and other such problems between the parents as this would not be in the best interests of your children.

A residence order is an order stating where a child should live and it is legally binding. Once a residence order has been granted no person can remove the child from the person named in the order without that person's consent or in compliance with another order, such as a contact order.

To make the application for a contact order you can instruct a solicitor to act for you or you can act for yourself. To act for yourself you should download form C100 from http://www.hmcs.gov.uk and also forms CB1 and CB3, which offer guidance on completing the C100.

When this form is completed it must be filed at court with the fee of £175. The court will let you know what will happen next and make you aware of any court dates you must attend. You will be required to attend court several times.

When the matter goes to court the judge will look at all the circumstances and will decide whether or not to grant your application based on what he feels to be in the children's best interests. Generally, the courts are reluctant to remove a child from their current residence and family home without good reason. You would need to show the judge that it would be better for your daughter to live with you permanently.

The court can grant an order in your favour, in the mother's favour or in favour of joint residence, depending what they feel is best for your daughter.

We hope this information has been useful to you. Should you require further advice please contact our helpline on 0845 120 2948.

Children's Legal Centre

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Thankyou eveyone for the responses. It has all been more help than anyone can imagine. Feels like there is some hope (as gushy as it sounds!)
I will post with up dates on how its all going and probably with more questions!
If by some chance there is anyone that may want my help or advice, i am more than happy to help with whatever i can offer.
Thankyou all again
Benn

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