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[Solved] Child custody - advise on our agreement please

New Member Registered


Me and my ex partner have 3 children. We are not married and are based in the UK.

My ex partner recently went wayward. She has found a new house to move into and we are in the process of sorting the financial settlement and child custody.

I orignally wamted 50 / 50 custody, but compromised on 3 nights to avoid the upset of mediation and court.

I did speak to a solicitor re finances and custody, who said she could draw up an agreement, but as we are not married, it couldnt be signed off by the courts, hence not be legally binding ?

I downloaded a settlement agreement from a legal site and we ammended with our details / what we agreed.

My Ex has taken advise on it, and her solicitor has told her the same. It is not legally binding.

However, once her name is off the deads, it kind of takes care of the financial side.

My worry is that once she has her money, she will try and change the terms of the custody agreement.

Due to my mother not retiring until October, she has agreed that her mother will collect the children from school until then. The contract states that from October, my mother will collect the children. She isnt happy about this, and would rather her mother collect the children than mine, although it would fall on one of my custody days.

I have also seen a message from one of her family members telling her to "play the game" until the finances are sorted, then go for full custody..

Obviously if she did refuse to honor what we agreed, i would take it to mediation and court.. Can anybody advise on how much weight a signed agreement would carry...


Topic starter Posted : 14/02/2019 2:03 am
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

As you rightly point out, a signed agreement isn’t legally binding, but it’s a good indication of intent and if you had to take it to court, it should be taken account of.

Could you make it a condition, before the funds are released, that you both agree to a consent order, which outlines what has been agreed about contact, this can then be put before the court to be rubber stamped. As it’s by consent, it’s straightforward and can be done fairly quickly.

A further note on the financial side of things, hopefully once she’s off the deeds, that will take the pressure off somewhat, but be aware that if you had agreed that the lump sum includes a settlement for child maintenance, there’s nothing to stop her opening a claim with the CMS, regardless of what you might have agreed previously.

Only a court order would prevent that, and only relates to couples that were married, even then, after twelve months a CMS claim would override a court order.

Posted : 14/02/2019 3:38 pm

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