[Solved] Constantly feeling bad HELP!!

Congratulations pdm15478,

It's brilliant that you have found someone who makes you so happy. Have you thought about explaining to your parents that :

We have what I would describe as a perfect relationship, we talk about everything don't have any secrets and share loads of interests and she is the one.I am soooo happy for the first time in years

You put it so eloquently when you explained it to us. I would think/hope that your parents just want the best for you and if you are happy then hopefully they should be too.

Hi,

Have to agree with Bliss on this.

Has something happened in the past to make you feel that your parents will react in a negative way?

Gooner

Hi,

I think that sometimes in life you have to think of yourself, it may not feel nice to go see your folks everytime you have your girls.

I'm sure your folks would be happy for you to spend time alone when you have them.

Darren

Hi there and welcome 🙂

I loved my mother dearly but she could be quite judgemental... Sometimes you just have to accept the things you cant change.

It sounds to me that you have found your soulmate, concentrate on her and your future together and just rise above the attitude you think you will get from your parents. I think you need to get some perspective and understand that their opinions wont alter anything, they have no control over you anymore and their words can only have as much impact on you as you allow them to

Just to give everyone and update. Many thanks for all the advice that was given. I did finally sit down with my parents and have a very long chat with them about How I feel and how they make me feel. It has all worked out and they have been very supportive and understanding about my wishes. I am now also engaged and I cant wait to start my future journey with my new fiancée!.

since my last last post There have been some developments with a different issue I would like to discuss. I have recently told my girls about me getting re married and they were both very pleased. Since then though I have noticed a change in my eldest daughters attitude, she is going to be 13 in a couple of months time. Since telling my girls about my engagement my ex wife sent me a rather aggressive text about my fiancée. rather than text her back I thought it more appropriate to call her. Well when I called her she basically (let Rip!!) saying that because I am in love I am pushing my girls away, that my girls don't feel comfortable about talking to me because they think I am going to get cross with them all the time. plus she has issues because my fiancée hasn't had kids before. My fiancée is very good with my girls she has helped me out financially with the girls and has also been a ear for them when they have concerns about anything and also planned some very nice days out with them too.

Over the last week or so my Oldest daughter has been very argumentative with me and my partner, disagreeing with everything we say and basically talking mainly to us like we are a piece of [censored]. This has only started to happen since my ex wife and I had this phone call. I am getting to my wits end at what to do!!.

Also my fiancée has decided to send a letter to my ex wife explaining that any photo she has of the girls and comments made on Facebook are not a dig at her and that she is not going to be a replacement mum because they already have one and that she is there to support me and the girls and her as well.

Can anybody just shed some light on past experience or advice if you have been in a similar situation. I don't want to believe that my ex wife is poisoning my kids because I am getting re married but its a thought that keeps going round my head!!

Ok, first thing I would do is to keep (and take) everything off facebook - it's not worth the hassle.

Second, while you ex may not have intended to alienate your daughter from you, presented with the opportunity, she may have leapt at the chance - don't forget, it's quite possible that your ex resents the fact that you are getting married (your ex may not want you with her, but she won't like the idea that you have found someone to replace her - it's not logical but it's human nature). Your daughter has also reached the age where her hormones are starting to have an effect, so you could well be caught by a number of factors.

Hi I could have written your post 4 years ago. we had the same issues, every thing was fine till we said the marriage word, even tho his ex had remarried and my step daughter was fine with this she was so not fine with us getting married. I was accused of stealing her Daddy ! taking him away from them the list was endless. I did all the right things , she was my bridesmaid , I spent a fortune on her and very little on my son (never again) . On our wedding day she refused to take her bags to her own room after we had got ready i had to get her Auntie to help, we didnt want a 13/14 year old knocking at 6am !! We sneaked away a few days later just for a few days as my oh didnt want to upset his daughter, she then found out, I had the mother texting phoning me and husband saying I had come between them and a father daughter bond is special, my step daughter screaming down the phone sending abusive text to me ,My oh threw a wobbly at me as I wanted him to protect me , great honey moon eh ! Well 4 years later and lots more out bursts she is now 18 and getting on with her own life (still a pain and want want want,but bearable ) All I can say is you sound like you are protecting your wife to be which is so lovely. I would advise like actd to delete your ex off face book and I would strongly advise its you who communicates with your ex and kids, not your future wife . Good luck and stay strong