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Question. Father and non-resident parent. Separated just over 4 years. Boy 5 years, Girl 8 years. Considering change contact arrangement and proposing options to my ex. Have no formal arrangement with CSA but pay at least the going rate without issue. My ex has slightly changed the arrangement since she's got married however (she does not drop off). The summary or the arrangement is that I have kids Fri, Sat back Sun evening and visit every other weekend i.e. take the kids from exes for approx for 4 hours on Sun around where they live as it's uneconomical to drive to where I live. One major issue with this is 8.75 hours driving for me across both weekends particularly as she used to drop at mine on Fri but decided it not to, therefore adding 2.75 hours driving for me. I'm kinda counting the numbers but I'm going to propose some options to change the arrangement including giving her more money as is the law due if less contact. So my concern is how I broach the subject to my ex. I've constructed a table of options. My main interest is for what's best for the kids. I'm taking a little bit of a long term view on the options which may likely mean I see my kids less pay her more money. Largely this is due to time / distance and that I think this may be the best all around. I don't know how i've got into this situation really or how's she going to react but i think something needs to change. Any helpful advice or should I just drop her my thoughts and duck for cover?
I would ask if there is any possibility of going for a coffee with your ex (and her husband if necessary) to discuss this face to face as it seems that the arrangement has generally worked until now, so she may be amenable to sensible discussion before putting anything down in writing or going to mediation (which may be your next step).
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