[Solved] Daughter Going away with her Mum and Mums BF!

Hi there 🙂

I understand your fears but from what you say you have a close bond with your little girl, she knows you are her Daddy and looks forward to your time together. You see her regularly, four days a week which must be a comfort for you. Have you talked to your ex about your concerns, maybe you could ask for her reassurance that your daughter wont be encouraged to call the bf Daddy, although as she calls him by his name, I see no reason for that to change...

If the bf is to be in your daughters life then isnt it a good thing that she gets on well with him, it shows that he treats her well which is good. I know its difficult but you must try to stop worrying, you are her Daddy and she will always love you, the love between Dads and their daughters is special and I'm sure you will always be number 1 in her heart.

Hi mate,

I empathise totally with you as am going through an identical situation myself. I find it very, very difficult to come to terms with someone that will become a father-figure in my daughters life. The thought of another guy picking her up, cuddling her, bonding emotionally etc isn't something that a genuine loving father can easily accept. I know it causes me a lot of pain whenever I think about it but I guess its like a lot of emotional events in our lives, and over time I'm hoping it will get that bit easier to accept. I've also found that I started resenting my ex for the situation but that doesn't do us as loving and devoted fathers any good for all sorts of reasons. Like I say I'm by no means in a place just yet where I have fully accepted the situation, but am just hopeful that in time I will and I hope the same goes for you mate.

Thank you Tel23111,

Your word's have really helped me and I agree with everything you say and I have similar emotions in regards to my ex, Im just hoping and praying that as my little princess gets older she will truly realise who loves her more than anyone or anything in the world. I honestly did not believe my life would chance so much when my little girl was born, im totally smitten with her.

From what you have said, it sounds as though your ex is being quite reasonable with the way she is treating you - you are getting very regular contact and she has given you plenty of notice regarding the holiday. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate how you feel, but I would suggest that you concentrate on the positives. Your daughter knows who you are, and obviously has a good bond with you. In addition, the time she is with you is when she gets to do the interesting stuff, whereas your ex can only do that sort of thing on holiday, the rest of the time it's the day-to-day routine, and that can be so boring to a child..

You are her dad, and noone else will change this. Think about if you get married in the future, your daughters stepmum will be a person in her life who cares about her, spends time with her, and enriches her time with you, but once she goes back to her mum, nothing will have changed. Her mum won't no longer be her mum because of another person in her life who cares about her. The same applies for you.
I understand it must be hard and you are bound to feel a bit insecure as this man in is her family home where you should be, but it honestly won't damage your bond. They may build a bond, (equally, she may end up disliking this man if she feels he is taking her mums attention away from her) but either way it won't affect her view of you.
Children don't have space for 1 man and 1 woman in their lives, they will adjust to however many people care for them. And it is quality of time spent with them, not quantity that is important.

Lots of dads see their children less frequently, and they are still their dads. You are seeing her little and often which is ideal as she will be getting constant reminders that you are always there for her and a big part of her life.