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Hi,
I have been seperated from my ex for over 3 months and we have a 9 month old baby daughter together. She recently told me that she has started seeing a new guy and at the moment it just hit me all of a sudden and I feel totally gutted at the thought of a new man in my daughters life. We are getting on ok for the sake of our daughter and I have good access to her, but now have real worries about this guy being another father figure in her life. I didnt want the relationship to end in the first place and now this sudden realization has dawned on me and am not coping well with it.
Hi Tel23111
This is a really hard one for you mate. I totally feel your pain. My only advice for what it's worth is that you try to talk to your ex and explain that you are 100% committed to your daughter and have realised that that also means you need to be 100% committed to your daughters wider family ie her mum and any new step dad that she may have.
The only way you will get over this is if you embrace the reality of it. Deal with how that makes you feel, express your fears and drag them out of the "might happen" closet. If you look at them and come up with a plan of action then you are in control of them NOT the other way round. The truth is that your daughter will potentially have a step dad but she will only have 1 biological dad and that's you. No one can take your place unless you let them.
Ask if you can get to know this new boyfriend and have a chat with him, can u pop over for dinner one evening and talk them both on neutral turf. He is probably just as worried about you and what you're thinking. Chat it though come up with a plan. The best thing is always communication dude.
keep us posted bud 🙂
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