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hi fellow dads, i really need some advice.
i have a 17 month old daughter and a 5 month old son. for the past 17 months i havent been aloud to take my daughter out once on my own because my ex doesnt like my family at all for no reason at all. she didnt put me my sons birth certificate in order for me to not be able to do anything if it went to court. it destroys me. the only way i can see my kids is going to her flat on the weekends. when im there she mentally abuses me. she swears at me she makes little horrible comments telling me she sleeps with men etc. every day whilst i work i get texts telling me im a [censored] dad when im not. every free minute i get i spend it with my kids in her flat telling them i love them , interacting, playing and teaching them new things. she texts me threatening me to come into my work, and calling me a liar about when i work. she calls me a **** dad every day of my life and tells me my kids deserve better and shes going to get a new man to play daddy. this destroys me and i dont know what to do. i cannot afford to get legal proceedings or court fees. i have had to put up with this for 17 months now and i cannot mentally or physically keep going to her flat when i should be aloud to take them out. she even rubs in to me that im never taking my kids out. she is an evil woman who still tries to ruin my life. i feel sorry for my children. when they get to that age. and ask me to take them out, what am i meant to say to them. please does anyone have any advice?
Hello Stuu,
What an awful situation for you. There are a couple of things that you can do to try and alleviate the abuse. I suggest you buy a cheap PAYG mobile and use this for all communication with her. You are then more in control about when you look at the phone and you can leave it at home when you go to work so that you won't be bothered/upset whilst you are working.
The next option is to go to mediation, legal aid is still available for this service and you can check if you are eligible here
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid ....if you are eligible you can find a mediation service near to where you live here
www.nfm.org.uk .....this is the accepted first step, if you go for the first appointment the mediator would then write to her and ask her to attend, if she refuses or she attends but no agreement is reached you can get a form FM1 which you would then submit to court with your application for Parental Responsibility and a contact order.
You may be able to get an exemption from the court fees and you would check that with form EX160a which you can download or get from the court...if you telephone them they will send you out all of the forms you need as follows
C100 form to apply for a Contact Order
C1 to apply for Parental Responsibility, with that you can then be put on your sons birth certificate.
EX160a. To apply for an exemption of the court fees.
I would also advise you to attend a branch meeting of Families Need Fathers where you will get lots of advice and support both legally and from other dads that know what you are going through. Here's a link to a web page where you can find out where your local branch meeting is held.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
