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First of all hands up. I'm a woman but looking for advice for my partner from other guys that may have been in similair situations.
My partner is having extreme probelem arranging access with his ex to see his son, at the moment he gets 5 hours a week (which she has pulled several times)
The main issue is though every time he drops child back it is extremely strassful, he is accused of being a useless father, never any good, and all in front of child.
Without fail he will recieve e-mails after access calling him all the names under the son, and having a go about me and my kids. They never lived together full time and had what sounds like an awful relationship but she still swings from telling him she misses him (again in front of child) to giving him verbal abuse, this is now a year down the line. There are about 5 emials a week with swearing throughout, late night voicemails etc which seem ranting and incoherent.
My partner has got his own place so he can have child overnight but she is not happy with this, she says he should change his job as at the moment he works most weekends, but does have days off during the week, he always gives her his rota a month in advance but no access is ever suitable.
Anyway he has been to solictor, they have tried mediation but her abuse continues, going to try and go to court re access but doesn't think he can afford it or will qualify for legal aid.
Solicitor did right to say the abuse had to stop which worked for about 2 weeks before it started again. We are at a loss as to where to go from here, any ideas please?
Hi
No need to have to 'admit' to being a woman on here, you're not the only one 😀
If your partner can't afford a solicitor, it's quite possible to represent yourself, and although it can be daunting (I haven't done this myself, but others on here have done), the courts tend to make an allowance for the fact that you aren't well versed in the court procedures - you just need to make sure that you have done all your preparation. If your partner is thinking of doing this, then ask any questions on here and he'll get plenty of advice - if you can get him to come on here himself, it may make it easier for him to ask anything that's worrying him (doesn't mean you can't stay on here as well for support though 🙂 )
I would consider getting him to write a letter to her saying that all future communications must be in writing or email and that abuse is not acceptable. If she persists in phoning, then I would recommend that he goes out and buys a cheap pay as you go mobile and tells her the new number (don't tell her he's still got the old number), and then use that phone purely for communication to her and at say, 8pm every night, switch the phone off - that way his evening isn't being wrecked every night by her calls, there's a lot to be said for having time to yourself. Make sure he keeps a diary of every conversation, missed contact, etc, and keep copies and transcripts of all emails/texts and voicemails (including abuse) - it will help immensely in court.
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