[Solved] Hi Ho, Hi Ho it's back to court I go

...I certainly dont think you are being unreasonable! Theres only one reason for her behaviour and its one of control...any loving mother would want their child to have the opportunity of as many different experiences as possible, and the benefit from learning about different cultures is so important...Ancient Egypt is quite an important topic at school too... Since my own schooldays, I was inspired and fascinated and always wanted to go there...havent managed it yet, its on my to do list.

Best of luck with it Darren!

Let's face it Darren, repeatedly going to court is just so addictive 😆

In all honesty, I don't think it's at all unreasonable in what you are doing - and while you are at it, I'd plan for future holidays so you don't have to keep going back - and get something added so that his passport is handed over a good couple of months early, just in case your ex finds it's "lost".

Well I arrived home last night to the A4 brown envelope of doom.......

Court date is set for December 3rd at 10am This really should be a good thing as it's so soon and normally I'd be really pleased, but its 2 days after my wedding and I'm supposed to be going away for a few days.

My future wife has suggested we leave later in the day after court so we can get it out the way......(not someting I'd have suggested we do :whistle: )

So I need to talk to my boss to try and scrounge another (un paid) day off work so at least we can have 2 days together before I go back to work.

Fingers crossed!!!!!!!

Darren

Let's face it Darren, repeatedly going to court is just so addictive..

lol actd thats well funny.

Darren your ex is a horrid selfish women and any good Mum would love the child to have a great time and experiance a trip abroad.
Your wife to be sounds very understanding and I hope you get the time off to go away for a few days

Well we were back in court on Monday,

We didn't really get anything sorted, but cafcass are going to see my son and do a thoughts and feelings session with him as I keep getting told one thing from my ex and another from him.

She says he doesn't want to see me, he maintains he wants too, even down to my wedding where he had to go home at the end of the day as his mum had plans the following day that he wanted to join in with.

We will be going back to court in January where we will hear the results of the cafcass session and will hopefully get things sorted.

he judge would make any ruling on the holiday until after this is done, but did express I should think of other destinations other than Egypt for a holiday, I don't get how an ex or a court can decide where I go on holiday???

Darren

I just wonder what the answer would be if you said no to her taking him on holiday to Egypt? :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

Subjectively - what a [censored]!

Objectively, hmm. At the end of the day the court will rule and you will have to listen. They may or may not know your son but they will rule on what they feel is best for him in the circumstances.

Now on to what I really wanted to say. Having been through this, the MOST important thing you can do is to remain consistent in your love and support for him. Reinforce that you are there at the end of a phone 24/7 and if possible call hime every day. NEVER slag her off in front of him and if he mentions anything about how she behaves answer in a balanced and fair minded way no matter what you feel in your heart.

Regardless of how often you see him or how much time you spend physically together he will eventually gravitate towards YOU if you are like this as he will see fairness and kindness demonstrated that directly opposes what his mother is telling him every day.

I had a similar situation and on the day my son phoned me with his degree results I asked what his mother had said? His reply was, "I'll tell her later" and my daughter is similar and both now fully understand how and why the relationship broke down and who was the least loving.

Kids will tell parents what they want to hear and never do it to wind anyone up,. They do it because deep down they want mummy and daddy to get back together. You just have to be true to everyone and take the moral high ground so you son will eventually benefit from you as a great role model.

Good luck

I was back in court today and didn't really get the result I wanted but actually I had already been prepared for that so had a counter offer ready which was accepted.

I had wanted to take my son to Egypt on holiday this year along with my wife and step son, his mum didn't want him to go to a "volatile country" the Judge sided with her despite the fact that where we want to stay is a 9.5 hour drive from where any conflict has been. There was no reasoning with the judge, so out came the back up, My son now won't come with us and I will only have him for 1 week in the summer, but will have him for October half term instead for this year only. The judge expressed that she was only not allowing travel abroad due to where we wanted to go and no other reason and ensure my ex was well aware that if she decided to try and stop foreign travel in the future she would come down hard as there was no reason as long as I chose a "safe/sensible" destination.

The judge also (off the back of the Cafcass report) warned my ex about lost contact time due to things she arranged on the weekends my son was due to be with me and as it had stated my son has no issues with contact and was happy for it to continue, in fact he would like more, which I would love to do but I work over an hours drive away (in traffic) and couldn't get to him mid week with enough time for it to be quality time, plus I work long hours (07:30-18:00) so am shattered when I finish.

As I said it wasn't the result I was looking for but I guess the best I could hope for as the judge had expressed last visit she wasn't keen on ordering that he would be able to come to Egypt.

Darren

Oh well, Darren - it wasn't a complete washout, but still a bit disappointing, I'm sure.

Perhaps you could ask your son to pick out some places where he'd like to go for next year.