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Hi, First of all sorry if this is the wrong place...
So recently separated from my partner and we have a 3 and a half year old little boy. its not easy as im sure you know. i am allowed to put him to bed on Tuesdays and Thursdays and i see him every Sunday. so far sounds all ok. i live on a houseboat and my ex is refusing to let him stay the night with me. because of the cold weather she says. but i have heating! its warmer than the house. and now i am getting alot of last minute phonecalls to come and look after him in the evenings which i dont mind so much but when shes out until midnight it would be so much easier if he could stay with me. can anyone offer any suggestions to make her see my point or am i being stupid??
Hi and welcome!
Have you invited her to have a look around your houseboat and check that the facilities are up to standard? It seems very unfair that you are at her beck and call in this way.
I can understand you not wanting to rock the boat (forgive the pun!) for fear that she would stop the contact you do have.
Try talking to her again about it and as I suggested, get her to come and inspect the houseboat. Explain how you are more than happy to look after your son, but in the convenience of your own home. If you are in contact with her through emails ot txts, I would also put this down in black and white so that you have proof of your suggestions to resolve the situation. This will help you if you have to take a more formal route in the future. I would advise you to keep a record of all communications between you and the mother... how does she contact you at the last minute to ask you to babysit? If its by txts, make sure you keep them, again this will be helpful if you have to take matters further.
If this is unsuccessful you can request she attends Mediation with you,to try and sort it out and reach an agreement that works for you both.
If you are paying maintenance through the CSA, this might be the reason why she wont allow overnight stays with you, as you would be entitled to a reduction in the payments if your child stays for 52 nights or more per year with you.
Thank you for your reply. the situation has unfortunately changed again and hopefully i will be able to talk to you about it soon
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