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How to say goodbye ...
 
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[Solved] How to say goodbye after a visit


Posts: 17
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Topic starter
(@Rover)
Eminent Member
Joined: 12 years ago

Having left the family home a couple of months ago, I am just embarking on the fortnightly visit to see the kids (one under10, one under 5) routine.

When I arrive they are obviously really excited to see me (and I know that is tough to see for my ex who has them for the rest of the time) and while I am there things go well and they seem to enjoy doing stuff with me, but the problem comes when it is time for me to go again.

What is the best way to do it without the whole thing turning sour, or at least to minimise their upset? How do other dads handle this and what seems to work best? Do you announce a departure time in advance, do you arrange for their mother to take them out and then you depart after they've gone, do you put them to bed then go after they are asleep or what?

Any suggestions ideas welcome

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3 Replies
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(@daver)
Joined: 12 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 1020

I guess its different for all and each situation has its own peculiarities.

Idealy I would like to put our children to bed if I were traveling a distance to the ex home. If I understand correctly thats what you are doing.

Maybe consider getting them both a toy or keepsake from you so that they are reminded of you when they hold it.

Its always going to be painful at least until they are older and understand.

I would try and not sneak away if they are not asleep in bed but thats just my take.

I wonder what others do.......

Regards,

Dave

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(@got-the-tshirt)
Joined: 12 years ago

Famed Member
Posts: 2917

Hi

as said it will be different for everyone, My son used to just run inside when I took him home and find something to keep himself occupied so he wasn't having think about me leaving, he was 6 then so had a good idea of what was going on and just wanted to remove himself.

It would have been worse for him to stand on the door and wave me off, though as he got older that is what he did with no issue.

There won;t be any hard and fast rule, but you will find something that works for you.

GTTS

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(@Rover)
Joined: 12 years ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 17

I guess its different for all and each situation has its own peculiarities.

Idealy I would like to put our children to bed if I were traveling a distance to the ex home. If I understand correctly thats what you are doing.

Maybe consider getting them both a toy or keepsake from you so that they are reminded of you when they hold it.

Its always going to be painful at least until they are older and understand.

I would try and not sneak away if they are not asleep in bed but thats just my take.

I wonder what others do.......

Regards,

Dave

Have done this and it works well with the older one, so thanks for the idea....

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