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My ex has been with this guy for about 2 years. They have a child together who is obviously my Daughter's half-sister.
My daughter calls this guy Dad when i'm not about (and she said her mum makes her). but apparently calls me Rik when i'm not about?!
I'm not overly fond of this but I have let it slide as much as I can, I've told my daughter that it's her choice but i'd much rather her not call me Rik at all. I mean, i'm 27 and if I called my dad Paul i'd probably get a smack. It's, from what I can gather, Disrespectful.
I mean, I don't wanna mess my kid up but has anyone been through this? is there a right way to phase this out or something?
Thanks.
There's two possibilities here - the first is that your ex may simply be trying to make life easier at home so that both children are calling your ex's partner the same thing, which is understandable, or the second is that she may be a way of getting at you.
There is a saying, along the lines of 'choose your battles carefully, only fight those that you can win' and this is one of those that you can't. Unless you are able to talk it through with your ex, with a chance that she will be sympathetic, there is simply no way that you can control what is said in your ex's house, and if you try to make an issue of it, then you will lose, and you'll be in a worse situation than you are now.
I would talk to your daughter and explain that whatever she has to call you when you're not around, you'll always be her dad.
I think it's an issue that society as a whole has to face these days, as more and more families consist of children from different parents.
As an aside, a couple of years ago, my (then 17 year old) daughter started referring to me by name when here friends were around - at first it was a bit strange, but to her friends, I went from being called "Indie's dad" to "Clive" and I actually like it, that she and her friends can joke with me as an equal, not a father of my daughter. Likewise, my son, who has just started as a teacher, is having to get used to calling my sister by her first name as he's staying with her at the moment, and as he's tutoring some pupils alongside her, calling her auntie would lose some of their authority as teachers.
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