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kids dont want to l...
 
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[Solved] kids dont want to live with their mum...advice pls


Posts: 24
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Topic starter
(@gordy71)
Eminent Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Ive got 3 kids, since thei mum and i split they have never wanted to live with their mum...but at the time it was easiest thing to leave them in their home as i was living with my parents....ive had my own place for over a year now, kids have their own rooms, Ex has moved out our hamily home due to getting us both made bankrupt...house is in the hands of admimistrators.

my daughter is 16 and can make her own choice, but wont leave her brothers, oldest son is 12...i believe he can seek legal representation himself...youngest is 9.

I dont want to go down the legal road to gain more access to my children because i know the outcome is total destruction of any form of relationship with my ex...and at the end of the day...she is still their mother....whether i like her or not....any attempt to have kids stay with me end up in her best argument of.....'no...coz im just not having it'....usually followed by '...end of'...she already makes things unnessisarily difficult for the kids to have any kind of normal relationship with either my family of hers....all has to be controlled from her side so she gets what she wants out of any access to the kids....its [censored] having to ask for permission to see my kids when she was the one who blew our marraige to bits....something seriously not fair about the system.

i just want my kids to happy and be able to have 'normal' relationships with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins..without starting world war 3.

anyone got any advice....

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(@daddyto4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 232

So, would you like all 3 children to come & live with you? One thought is, if you live close to each other, would your ex consider you having the kids for half the time & vice versa? Your daughter may feel happy to live with you all the time if she knew she'd still see lots of her brothers. If not, are you thinking of applying for custody?

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(@gordy71)
Joined: 13 years ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 24

would desperatly love my kids to live with me....far more stable enviroment for them.

there is virually no chance their mum would go for 50/50...she would loose too much money (she uses the kids as an income).

i dont live too far from my ex...bout 5 miles which is handy, i have my kids 7 days out of 14 but they only stay over 3 night out of 14 which is a major bone of contention with all of us, kids and i cant figure out why they need to go back to her house on certain nights just to go to bed when they can just go to be at mine and leave for school in the morning as normal....only reason i can find is money.

reason my daughter give for not lesving the boys behind is she is there to'protect them' from their mum...(she is a bit of a bully)

I am considering applying for custody....but know how much pain it will be if and when the kids come with me....life will be [censored].

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Hi

The [censored] will be applying for residence, if you get it, then your ex actually has a lot less she can do - if she turns up on your doorstop, you call the police, and if she isn't civil to you by phone, text or email, then you block it and take control of communications and behave in a civil manner to her but don't accept any offensive behaviour from her.

Have you discussed the idea of coming to live with you with your daughter if she thought you could get residence for all of you?

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