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I need some advice.
My ex-partner and I separated almost two years ago and we have 2 children, my daughter aged 13 and my son aged 9.
Whilst I don't like my ex-partner or her parenting skills, I've learned to bite my lip about how she brings up our children in her own time.
Our current arrangement for access is week-on / week-off, although I am still deemed as less of a parent by Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits who awarded all benefits to be paid to the mother despite us having completely even access / care of our children. That's a story for another post maybe.
I discovered, at the weekend, that my ex-partner had left my daughter home alone whilst she went to another town about 20-25 minutes drive away, although my ex-partner doesn't actually drive and would have to rely on her partner or public transport in order to return home should anything, god forbid, happen with my daughter.
My ex-partner had no intention to return home that day but my daughter was due to be picked up by her Auntie (on my ex's side) at 6:30pm. I arrived at the house at 7:30pm and she was still there on her own.
Whilst I understand that there is no legal age at which a child is or is not allowed to be left alone, do I have any rights to complain about this considering that my own sentiments are that my daughter should not be left alone for the length of time that she was?
When I spoke to my ex-partner she lied about the time that my daughter was left for (she said from 3-4pm, my daughter said from 1pm), she also lied about arrangements for my daughters tea (she said her sister - Auntie - was giving her tea, my daughter said that she had been left dinner to microwave herself).
I asked my ex-partner if we could meet to discuss this but she has refused stating, amongst other things, that she is "not answerable" to me.
I would appreciate any advice that could be offered.
Is there anything I can do?
Thank you.
DadForJustice
Hi there DoJ,
I do understand and sympathise with your predicament...as you quite rightly state the law is vague about this as she is 13.
How did your daughter feel about being left, I think if she were upset about it then you are right to want to discuss it with the mother, if she refuses you could think about trying mediation, heres a link - www.nfm.org.uk
If this happens again you could ask your daughter to call you so that you can step in...and if it happens regularly and your daughter is unhappy then you could think about having her live with you. Teenagers have quite a big say in who they want to live with and if this were to happen you would be in a good position to become the resident parent.
Hi Nannyjane.
How would any 13 year old feel about being left alone for long periods of time? Jackpot! :o)
I think that's partly my concern really. My daughter is fine about it because it suits her - she gets peace and quiet and the house to herself - but I feel that it's isolating for her plus I'm also concerned, as any father would be, about my 13 year old daughter being home alone for long periods unsupervised. That's allowed isn't it?
If it is, legally, a case of 'tough sh!t' you have NO say whatsoever over what goes on with your children whilst they are in their mothers care then I'd have to suck it up,. wouldn't I? I was just keen to know if I have rights even when the children are not with me.
Hey ho.
DFJ
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