[Solved] Life Taken Over

Yes is the simple answer... Do you have a partner? Are you a morning, mid-day or evening person?

Since having children I find most of my time is constantly conflicted, thankfully overall rewarding.

My eldest 2 are a similar age, and I recently realised that this WAS the time to put aside the rest of life. From what I see as they get older the time spent with them become much more focused - which means your tastes and theirs could conflit more. Where at this age pretty much anything goes as long as it involves a parent!

Yes I have a wife. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one whose old life has ended. I now function as a money earner and father. I've almost forgotten what it's like to to things just for my own pleasure eg motorcycling etc. Oh well. Thanks for responding.

Hi John - I have 2 boys 4 and 2. Life really is about being a money earner and if i'm honest i have fought against that. However i decided i wanted to stop fighting and do something practical about it, realising that i still need to bring in the dosh. So i have changed job. I'm about to start working for a group that is dad/family focused and will allow me the opportnity to work from home occasionally and in 6 months time go down to 4 days a week. On the 5th day i'm setting up a charity (i'll be paid a salary) Even just the though of doing something i want to do work wise makes me feel like i've got a part of my life back.

My wife felt like her life was over too so we now have alternative sunday nights off and do what ever we want to. Its great and is a fab way to end/start the week. We also make sure that friday night is date night, we don't often get to go anywhere but we take it in turns to plan the evening and enjoy being together. I stops me feeling like everyone else out there is having fun!!

I will add that it is surprising what young children consider "helping", and they really get into it.

You have to set out with a bit of patience in mind, but it makes the main task possible. I was doing the gardening 😮 and 3yr old was very proud to be "helping daddy" by wearing gardening gloves and occasionally putting some twigs and leaves in the collecting bag!

It obviously degenrated when he got hold of the hose...

What makes things worse is my youngest gets up at 04:30-05:00 each morning. We also need to stay up till 10:30pm to let in our foreign students in the evening. We all suffer from lack of sleep. I then have to drive 100 miles per day going to work and back. What am I to do ?

Ooooh I notice that this morning was one of those mornings (from the post time stamp)... aaaggghhh

What time do you do bed time? I often commute into London (1 1/4 hour each way), and so that I see my children we (well okay I) often don't start bedtime "hour" until 7pm. This definately helps getting them past 6am, and mostly (now) to 7am - but does you mean you loose some of the evening....

I have two boys aged 3 and 6 and find my whole life is just work and children. No time for anything else. Is this normal ? !

You are not alone John, and I think the way to look at it is that every hour we miss with our kids they grow up a bit and we won't get that time back. I fear it will pass for us all too fast. Apart from the work bit, we are hugely lucky. I often recall a part of a James Herriot book where he was describing when he had his 2 children, both very young and sleeping in the same room as him and his wife - an old woman said to him that he would never be richer in his life than he was then. I think that is so true. Having said that, I'd love a good kip!

We have 4.5 yr old boy and a 1.5 yr old girl and our life has been taken over. Fortunately when my wife was pregnant I changed jobs so that I could spend time with the family. It meant a pay cut but it has been completely worth it. The way we look at it is, once they are older they will not want to hang around mum and dad and this is the time when your time is the most important to their lives, it shapes them for the rest of their lives.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz