Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello Dads,
I hope you don't mind me gate crashing your mens site.
My story - partner left me when I was 7 months pregnant with our second baby (he begged me to have another baby). He said he no longer loved me, needed some head space and wanted to concentrate on himself etc... Two weeks after he left he was dating someone from work. This was last September and he was speaking to me today about moving in with her and going on her mortgage when his lease is up so it's clearly very serious.
Anyway I just wondered if any of you have been the male in this situation and whether you ever look/looked back on the situation and realised you were wrong and regret/regretted what you did?
Thanks for reading x
Hi, can't say I'm in, or ever have been, in that position. I do feel you're brave coming on to this sites though. I hope you'll find that any replies you get will be positive and non-abusive. I was reading a post earlier from a dad who dared post something similar on Mumsnet - I think he's stopped bleeding from the ears now after the savaging he received.
Anyway, not much help this but stay strong and positive - male or female your situation is unfair, and it's always the one we think love us that have the greatest capacity to inflict pain and anguish.
Hi there and welcome 🙂
I can assure you you will not get a negative or abusive reply here....its a site for Dads, but they do let the odd female comment!! 😆
Its awful when relationships breakdown, especially when there are children involved. I think the question you ask about looking back with regret is poignant but is one there isnt any one answer to...I'm sure theres a mix, some men will regret it, some men wont... As hard as it is, I think you have to acknowledge that he is moving on and you must try and do the same. Because you have children together he will always be a part of your life, as you will his. Whats important is the childrens well being, and having both parents involved in their lives. If you can both work out how to do that in a mature and amicable way, that will really help all of you to make the best of things.
Give your heart time to heal, enjoy your children as their laughter and happiness will be the best medicine you can have to feel better. It never does any good dwelling on what might have been or what others may be feeling, concentrate on yourself and look forward not back...
Good luck with everything 🙂
You are most welcome on here, the majority of people on here are dads, but that's purely coincidental I'm sure and we'll help in any way we can.
I have looked back sometimes and thought that there might be things that I might have done differently if I had the knowledge, but ultimately, everything I have ever done has lead me to where I am now - if any single thing had changed, however small, my life may be completely different now. I am actually extremely happy with my life as it is now, so although some things really p*ssed me off at the time, really, I wouldn't change a thing.
There's a quote - "living well is the best revenge" - basically, you need to move forward and make the best of your life - one day, perhaps your ex will realise he made a bad mistake, but by that time you'll be enjoying life to much to concern yourself with that.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
