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I've just been to court and faced a barrage of fabrication (lies) and a request by the mother to have our son fulltime without a thought for how this would affect the child. I've been the main carer for over 3 years but with a 50 50 share agreement. My ex has bought a new home and now the nastyness has started. I just feel under constant attack from her. She wants me out of his life so he can be part of her new family. She also wants the child benefit and tax credits despite the fact it is what keeps me afloat and able to provide a home for my son. My job is term time and so my salary is reduced but I am there for him when she is working. I asked her for help with the childcare but she just refused, saving money for her house was more important!
She also wants to take him out of school where he is happy and settled because it would make her life easier!
She now wants to go to mediation! I'm happy to do this but how can we when everything she says is based on lies and complete fabrication? Would I be wrong not to go? How would the court view this? Can we agree anything if all she is going to do is lie? Can I keep my temper?
I'm just so frustrated. I just want her to leave me alone so I can enjoy my time with my son. I don't care what she does or has to say.
Now waiting for court welfare to get in contact so they can do their bit and my son has to have a welfare report because of all the lies she is telling to try and get him off me.
My son and I are happy, there are no issues or concerns.
Can I record telephone conversations and use them in court when she is blackmailing me?
Sorry, so many questions but I am so frustrated and angry with the system.
Thanks
David :boohoo:
Hi David,
Mediation can work as long as you both go in with an open mind and are prepared to compromise.
As far as I know you aren't able to use recorded conversations in court as your ex wouldn't be aware that they had been recorded.
I wouldn't think a judge would want to take your son out of a school he is settled in, that said every judge is different and has different views, so if you are able to sort things out through mediation then you would have a little more control over what happens.
GTTS
Thanks for the reply.
Open minded and compromise for someone with a fixed agenda!!!
I understand what you mean and I appreciate the reply but that is because I am open minded and able to compromise but I'm up against a brick wall who can't see more than a millimetre in front of their own nose.
I also have to pay for the mediation which makes it worse. £90 per session when to other person won't budge!!! I can't afford that and I can't afford justice.
David
Spirits,
I'm sorry to hear that you are not having a great time at the moment.
Mediation is a great way to resolve issues, if both of you are prepared to discuss and compromise. Is £90 the going rate? Have you tried a range of mediators to see if the price varies ? (i don't know if it does, I just thought it might be worth a try).
Have you tried National Family Mediation ?
Gooner
Hi I can vouch mediation works and trust me she was a very stubborn person. You can get reduced rates for mediation depending on your income, I’m presuming she will have to pay as well. Look at the link Goonerplan has provided and go to your local area. Work out how much you can afford it may well be only one or two sessions. Why should your son go to a different school and her get the cb , don’t give her that as that is a useful tool to use whoever has the cb is classed as the main carer in some cases this is a good thing to have .
I wouldn’t worry about the report it sounds like your son will say he wants to be with you and visit his Mum like he does now. 3 years is a long time, she’s one selfish women she is not thinking in the child’s best interest but her own agenda, if she continues your son may very well when he is older not want to go . These women make up stories to help their case but if its lies it will unfold and they will look so stupid. Well done on being his rock continue with the good work
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