DAD.info
2 homes, one priority: your child - Join the free Parenting After Separation course
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
2 homes, one priority: your child - Join the free Parenting After Separation course
Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:

Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.

Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help

My ex partner has m...
 
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] My ex partner has my child and I have her child.


Posts: 4
Registered
Topic starter
(@Gaunt)
Active Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Good evening. My ex partner has my son living with her and due to her moving far away my stepdaughter asked me if she could live with me. The reason for her to do this was cause of collage and she doesn't get on with her mother anyway. So, my ex and I agreed to this situation and all was good up untill a few months ago. My ex partner decided to take me to CSA and in her words " screw me for everything I have"

CSA stated that I need to pay her 15% of my wage. I told them that I had her daughter living with me full time and they told me that because my ex doesn't work I will not get anything from her nor will the situation be nullified due to the both of us having a child each.

I find this to be an unfair situation and was wondering if there is anything else I could do.

Any help on this issue would be greatful,
Many thanks

8 Replies
8 Replies
 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

I'm afraid that the situation is as you've been told - if your ex is on benefits, you may get £5 per week.

Reply
Registered
(@Gaunt)
Joined: 13 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 4

Thanks for your reply. It just doesn't seem fare.

Reply
Registered
(@Filmmaker_1970)
Joined: 15 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 458

It isn't fair, but that's nothing new with the CSA 😡

Do you have PR for your step daughter? How old is she?

How old is your son and how often do you see him? How far away is where they moved to?

Reply
Registered
(@Gaunt)
Joined: 13 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 4

Hi Filmmaker, My step daughter is 18 now but she is still in full time education. My son is 11 years old and I see him every 2nd weekend. From the friday around 6pm to sunday evening around 6pm. I also have him half the holidays.I travel aprox 15 miles to pick him up. a round trip is 60 miles aprox. And thats another thing. The cost of petrol, man this sucks. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind paying for my son, I just wish I got the same for my daughter.

Reply
Registered
(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

What about child benefit...I seem to remember that it continues after the age of 16, if the child remains in full time education....Its been a while since I got child benefit for my children but If its still available, are you not entitled to it as she is living with you?

Well done by the way, for not letting the problems with the mother overshadow the support you give your step daughter.

Reply
Registered
(@Filmmaker_1970)
Joined: 15 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 458

It is unfair. They system doesn't seem to reward good people.

Is your son happy living with his mother? He's at an age were his views would be considered regarding an issue of residency.

Reply
Registered
(@Gaunt)
Joined: 13 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 4

My son is in two minds. He doesnt seem to be unhappy living with his mother but up until the point he tells me he wants to move in with me, I will not poison his mind. Nannyjane, yeh I do get child benefit for my step daughter up to her 19th birthday, so I'm told anyway. So long as she is in full time education. I do understand That I have to pay my way, I don't dispute that. I just don't see the fairness in it all. They are my kids and I love them to bits. I just wish the gov did things in a fair way. This CSA is nothing more than scum. They create more problems than solve. I wish there was something more we can do to wake up the govenment to these problems. I know that my issue isn't near as bad as some of the life stories I have read on the internet. I just wish things could change.

Reply
Registered
(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

...It just isn't fair and the CSA has a lot to answer for....unfortunately theres no one for them to answer to... I think some government departments behave worse than gangsters taking protection money!
You are obviously a very caring man who puts his childrens feelings first...its such a pity more parents dont think that way!

Reply
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest