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My kids used as wea...
 
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[Solved] My kids used as weapons


Posts: 8
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Topic starter
(@smiler)
Active Member
Joined: 12 years ago

I'll leave out the emotional stuff as must as I can, My wife left me, taking our babies around a month ago. Over the previous months she had been trying to get me to leave our house, I wouldn't budge.

She went missing for 2 days, the police found her and our babies in a safe house.

Since she got her Brithish citizenship she had been trying to get a council house without success. It looks now she will get a council house along with free legal aid.

My solicitor send her a request for me to see my babies. She hasn't replyed. My solicitor is drafting up to orders being, A Residence order and an injunction to stop her leaving the country with our babies.

The idea behind the residence order is due to the fact my wife will not cooperate so any sharing agreement wouldn't work. I'm in the throws of a plan of action to provide to the court.

I know all the lies will come out in the wash but, this is going to take months...My wife is going to stall the max..she has no intention for me to see my babies ever again, I know this by the things she said in the months leading up to the fateful day.

I would go into what she said etc but I'm fearful of someone making a connection.

I have done nothing wrong..I've been a good daddy when she's allowed me near them..you see, I only provided the sperm. This is the stuff I've had to deal with.

My problem is, how can it be right for a mother to keep children away from the father? My solicitor says she can do no more than what she's doing now on that front...if she's not willing by consent we have to go through the courts which is what we are doing now.

What about our Human Rights!!!! You hear of normal level headed guys driving into trees, only yesterday a story in the paper about a guy with a guy trying to get with his babies...we are desparate people ...we are not being treated fairly...I love my babiies as much as my wife yet she is free to keep them from me...then has the law on her side to keep me away from them...All based on lies.

Thank you

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(@smiler)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 8

I had a really bad day last week...I was at work when i came over with a disire wanting to know if my babies were safe and well...I called social services but when I told them of their possible whereabouts in a refuge they told me to contact the police......I did this, as soon as i gave them the log number and date the police told me im to go through the courts......All i was asking is for someone to pop round in a patrol car to see if they are ok....I hadnt seen them in a month and i was missing them, like now, so much....I was spoken to like a criminal..it was horrible.

Police even told me their was a possibility she and babies may not be thier as she was free to go as she pleased. No one would stop or question her. Had all this been the actions of a dad, they would be locked up by now withy children back in their mother's arms.

My concern is that my wife has a personality disorder...Borderline.....nobody seems to be interested!!!...its proberly ok for her now but when things start to get tough, I know from her past that she does crazy things.....I was their to pick up the pieces before..now with our babies and without folks who know her God only knows what will happen.

The thought of going without seeing my babies, not knowing if they are well and being looked after properly is killing me. God help us

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Hi smiler

It sounds as though your solicitor is doing the right things - unless there is an accusation of DV, then your ex won't get legal aid, that has now been stopped. It may be worth looking at the guides to representing yourself at the top of the legal eagle section - I know you aren't self representing, but it will give you a good idea of the process.

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(@smiler)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 8

Thanks actd,

According to my solicitor she'll get free representation if she's been a victim of DV and or got herself into a womens refuge on the back of claiming to be a victim of DV....either way, I've had no police knocking my door although the police notified my doctor saying I'm accused of DV.

In a way I wished they would investigate....I wish they would interview family friends and neighbours who has known me most of my life and that includes an ex wife of 23 years and 2 grown up kids in their 20's...The lies would soon unravel...which my solicitor assures me they will but, it will take time....''we have to play the game''..we have no choice.

My solicitor has given me things to prepare while waiting for the order to reach court...hopefully I got a good one, she comes accross as one. She is also a mother of 2 kids and she knows the hurt I'm going through....after I explained my situation on our first meeting she said, '' the next 3 months are going to be tough''.

I will look at the guides actd...I've seen some books on amazon as well I'll think I'll order later today.

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(@smiler)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 8

I'm finding the legal section very helpful although somewhat distressing...so many hoops to jump through in such a long draw time all the while im without my babies...this is oh so wrong...how can a mother who I think is off her head can take two babies from their cots dump them into a taxi with next to no clothes but found the time to take her clothes important paperwork along with mine, go to a refuge claim all sorts of rubbish, be given a place and be believed is quite unbelieveable...im not allowed to make contact or try and find them...fair enought they have taken her word but, how about mime!!...why dont they come round here to see me etc...this is all so morally wrong....today I was going to do things around the house..Ive woken in a depressed state, really im finding this ordeal being too much to bear

Hi smiler

It sounds as though your solicitor is doing the right things - unless there is an accusation of DV, then your ex won't get legal aid, that has now been stopped. It may be worth looking at the guides to representing yourself at the top of the legal eagle section - I know you aren't self representing, but it will give you a good idea of the process.

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(@Enyamachaela)
Joined: 12 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 539

Hi Smiler

I am sorry to hear your story, but unfortunately through the Courts it is all about jumping through hoops, the fact that she is in a refuge - she may be "claiming" DV to get legal assistance. you say the police told your GP , why would they do that? Your Solicitor is doing the right thing, and at least you are getting an Injunction to prevent her from taking the children out of the country.

It is a slow process...keep your chin up 🙂

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(@smiler)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 8

Hi Smiler

I am sorry to hear your story, but unfortunately through the Courts it is all about jumping through hoops, the fact that she is in a refuge - she may be "claiming" DV to get legal assistance. you say the police told your GP , why would they do that? Your Solicitor is doing the right thing, and at least you are getting an Injunction to prevent her from taking the children out of the country.

It is a slow process...keep your chin up 🙂

Thank you Enyamachaela

My only guess why the police contacted my GP was my wife said a while back that she was going to use my past ill health against me. What a lovely lady.

My doctor couldn't believe what the police said..asking if I'm known as violent etc

13 years ago I had a single episode of what was thought was Bipolar Disorder. I was never hospitalised

I've been discharged for the last 9 years...I go for the annual reviews....it's now being said I was mis diagnosed but, it's too late now, the clock can't be turn't back.

My solicitor said it's more than likely that I will need to go for mental assessment before being allowed to see my children. She also says its not all bad your wife/ solicitor isn't cooperating..it's means they have nothing on you...hoping you will do something silly. The court orders will change all that.

I've been a model citizen all my life, I won't change now no matter how much I'm hurting.

God Bless us all

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Registered
(@Enyamachaela)
Joined: 12 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 539

Carry on doing what you are doing Smiler. The fact that the mental health team discharged you I think will mean that the Court wont worry about it especially as you have continued to attend annual reviews.. The Court may just want a report from the mental health team rather than an assessment.

Just don't do anything silly!! 🙂

Sorry but it is as I said before, you have to jump through hoops, just do that, remember that ultimately it is for you to have contact.

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