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Hi,
Have been split up from my ex for a couple of years now and recently have needed to try and face the idea of a new man entering my kids lives and living with them. At the moment I have reasonably good access to the kids but dont get on well with their mum. To be honest im not sure how i will cope with someone getting involved with them as a new father-type figure, they are only 4 1/2 and 2 years so still very young.
I am really interested to know how others reacted/coped as I am finding it a very difficult concept.
Thanks
Hi
I guess this is a really tough one, I have experience from both sides as I live with my partner and her son and have my son living with his mum, she had a partner a while ago and my son was really fond of him and would talk about him constantly, he even wanted to go home one weekend when he should have stayed as he was going to be there.
My view is though that as long as he is happy with the person then I'm happy as it doesn't impact his life in a negative way.
Darren
I have to say that I was devastated when I found out about another guy in my son’s life…..i had suspected my ex had started seeing someone because of her attitude towards me and her starting to make any excuse for me not to see my little boy at the house, the mid-week bath time I used to be involved in got pushed aside by her and then problems with contact started….all coincidently around the time I now know to be when she met the new guy! (We’d been separated only 7-8mths!)
The biggest issue I take with her and her new fella is that she was too focussed on promoting the new guy in my sons life and erasing me……everything was aimed at showing anyone around that she, my son and her new fella were a family unit….totally excluding the fact I was around!
I have mutual friends who have since told me how she would bad mouth me in front of my son and tell them in front of him how much better off they are with her new fella around and not me!
I don’t for one moment miss my ex……I do however wish her fella could really see what she has done to me from when I was with her to when I left her! I somehow don’t think he would’ve hung around had he known the truth about her!
Having said that neither would I had I known beforehand!
Well she’s now married and has his kid all in less than 2 ½ yrs! ….. to me that speaks a lot about her and her game plan! She hooks them and then takes them for 15%+ lol
That bit makes me sound bitter…..well yes I was…still am but only because I’m massively in debt fighting to see my little boy and getting frustrated at having lost almost half of my sons life to her and her new fella!
But as long as the new guy doesn't hurt my little boy then thats all that matters really i guess......after all...we all have to move on with our lives.....i just wish i could too.
Separation for a father who loves his kids is [censored]!!!
It is [censored],
and you miss a lot,
But as you said as long as this other guy is ok and good with your child then at least it's one less worry.
Darren
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