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Hi folks, just joined the site after surviving my first 6 months as a step dad. I'll really enjoying the family life and the little one is just wonderful (most of the time). I'm sure most new step dads have gone through the strains and I probably am not alone in finding it hard at times - going from a single man with no concerns and a free reign on my bank account its difficult having to consider others in your life.
Everything with my new family is great apart from one niggling little thing - my other half just doesnt know how to say no! Silly little thing but I think the little one eats too much, too many sweets. Mum has openly admitted that she has always given the little one what she wants because she is guilty about her dad not being around. Whilst I can understand that I dont know how to get through to her that what she is doing by always saying yes is wrong. Because I am generally the one who says no the little one (5) will ask her mum secretly for things because "she knows I'll say no". Whilst I will admit to saying no regularly (I'm sorry but having a bag of crisps or sweets straight after dinner at which the little one has eaten the same meal as the adults is not appropriate) I do say yes sometimes. Because mum never says no the little one focusses on my no's and seems only to remember those and not the yes's or nice little things I do for her.
I dont know how to move forward - I dont want this to become a big thing so want to nip it in the bud early. Any advice gratefully received!
Luckily with mine when I say no, their mum says no because I have said no too, so that isn't too bad.
It's just one of those things you need to talk about with her, she shouldn't be making exceptions, as things can easily get out of control if she carries on making these exceptions.
I have a problem i've put in a different thread, maybe they can be merged into one big step-dad thingy 🙂
Hi there
This is not untypical for any parent - most parents at some point are played against each other by their kids - most kids at some time or other will ask until someone says yes.
If you have been asked then make a point of telling mum your decision - hopefully they will support your decision. Also try to think of alternative ways of saying no!! No to a bag of crisps but they can have some fruit or raisins etc
It is difficult and kids will push the boundaries and know who to ask each question!! Talk to mum about it and get her to get the little one to ask you rather than her saying yes everytime and vice versa.
Good luck with it and welcome to parenthood!!!
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