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[Solved] Out of my Depth


Posts: 5
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Topic starter
(@BigLee)
Active Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Hi All,
This is my first post so bear with me.

My eldest son (3yrs) has started to wake at 5am in the morning, he has also starting having almost constant tantrums, pushing his younger brother, hitting and basically will not listen to a word I say. Its really starting get me down! I find myself getting really angry with him, its like he knows all the buttons to press all the time. My wife is great and helps me a lot (she is a teacher so has loads of experience) but more and more I have been feeling distant and like I don't want to be around my own family as its too upsetting!!!! I almost feel alone as I have no one to talk to about this stuff, my wife has a huge support network but I tend to just avoid the emotional implications of my actions and get on with things (hoping it will work itself out). I don't want to hate my family, I love them without question but I feel like I have bitten off more then I can chew.

Has anybody ever felt like this and if so how did you cope?

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Registered
(@Super Mario)
Joined: 16 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 1621

Hi Lee

It is tough and unfortunately this is completely normal for toddlers to test the boundaries - you need to be strong but don't hate your family as he will grow out of it when he realises it isnt worth it.

You need to talk to him at his level and use simple tactics like the naughty step but you will need to persevere as it will be very tough at the start. I would also say to reward him when his behaviour is good (collecting stars or something which add up to a reward on a Friday). Sad as it may seem but when my kids were younger we watched things like "Super Nanny" which gave us some fantastic tips. I am sure you can still watch them somewhere on Sky!!

There are many dads on here who will help as everyone has been through it!

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 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

hi BigLee

Yeah, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

I've mentioned it before on here, but a reward chart helped tremendously with my son's behaviour when he was young - a chart divided into days with a specific aspect of his behaviour you want to improve. If he does it, he gets a star, and if he gets say, six stars in a week, he gets a reward. Concentrate only on that aspect for the week, so if he does something else bad, he still gets the star if he does what the chart is for that week. If he fails to get a star, don't relent because he has done something else good. There is every chance he may fail to achieve his target in the first week, but that's good as he learns there are consequences for his behaviour. When that aspect is improved, then move onto another aspect - worked wonders for my son.

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