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I just read this article on the home page: "Why real men DO buy women flowers".
What on earth can I do if my wife finds it difficult to receive flowers?
She considers them a waste of money. But I find that blocks my natural attempts to show I value her.
Over the years I have settled with buying a potted plant - they last longer and don't seem to give her such a problem (actually, I think she has learnt to accept them).
I would value any other ideas or experiences around this romantic giving of gifts...
/MrOrange
My wife loves flowers, but I'm not great at buying them - I did buy my mother potted plants for a long time for the same reason as you.
My wife also likes massages (especially Indian Head massages) - you could try that sort of thing, still shows you value her.
Mr O
Maybe your wifes love launguage isn't gifts and thats part of the reason she thinks it a waste of money.
Check this out. 😉
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/top_10_for_valentines/mel_gibson_and_five_love_languages.php
Hi Harvey's Dad,
Many thanks - a useful post. I have come across the 5 love languages before and I know my Mrs values quality time the most.
However, I am still trying to work out what gives her a sense of having enjoyed 'quality time'.
My hunch is that we are best if we can find something we both enjoy doing (eg walks, watching crime drama/comedy/film together without running off to do other tasks, talking together as we amble into town for a cheap brunch).
I think I need to consciously make a secret note in my diary for occasional 'lunch and chat' times.
/orange
My Father's Day present the year before last was home-made chocolate truffles - they were lovely. How about that? It doesn't matter if they're not great (they were but...) because you're putting in time to say thanks or I love you or whatever.
My Father's Day present the year before last was home-made chocolate truffles - they were lovely. How about that? It doesn't matter if they're not great (they were but...) because you're putting in time to say thanks or I love you or whatever.
I did that once for my wife - made about 6 liquer chocolate Marzipans. Took me ages but she really appreciated them. Now you have reminded me of that, perhaps I should do that again 🙂
My wife has been going on about Banana Cream Pies for years - her dad used to get them from Marks and Sparks. I'd never heard of them but one day I was sat in front of Google and the thought occurred. I typed it in and discovered that it's an old traditional pie that's been made for years. Now, I'm her hero!
I have the exact same thing MrO,my wife don't really like flowers apart from Orchids. I tend to just swerve ball the flowers really and get something I know she loves like scented candles.
My wife is not a big fan of shopping either-lucky me... 😆 😆
Im one of these present buyers that struggles in the imagination department at times,my wife can be like getting blood out of a stone sometimes.. 🙄 🙄
Same here. I'm afraid that it provides all the evidence she needs that I never really listen. Fortunately, she's never noticed. Or said anything, anyway. She seems to accept that I'm [censored].
She seems to accept that I'm [censored].
And yet, you're still married - so maybe not 😀
Think if I bought my wife flowers she would either ask
"What have I done" or " What do I want"
So I dont bother 😈
Yesterday I bought my wife a stick of hard licorice.
I know it sounds naff but I know that she likes licorice..
I think she appreciated it. 🙂
Bring Back Tiswas - then buy here some, say "Nothing" when asked the inevitable and walk off. At least you can enjoy the fact that she'll be puzzling over if for ages. 🙂 )
Lillys or tulips only in our house, but similarly gifts doesn't real do it for my wife. Soemtimes I even end up putting the flowers in water several hours / days later cos they are still In the packaging!
My wifes love language is acts of service though and i find it real hard to get my head around...
Funnily enough both my wife and I have acts of service as our second love language. This seems to help us feel loved when we miss out on our primary love language...
Still haven't really worked out mine. I guess I'm a bloke so physical touch must be up there... I k ow hers is acts of service and it really bugs me sometimes as I just feel I have to do..
Tee Hee. Here is an email I had sent to my daughter and her boyfriend. Maybe it helps you work out your LL...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLEASE IGNORE THIS IF IT IS NOT INTERESTING
I stumbled on this website a week ago and today they sent me an email and it took me to this 30 sec quiz.
I think this thing about Love Languages, and Languages of Apologies is really helpful in relationships...
so, here is the 30 sec quiz. You might want to each do it on your own and then share your answers with eachother.
🙂
Don't discuss it for hours afterwards. It is just a way of helping eachother to understand a bit more...
- choose one from the top list of love languages
- choose one from the bottom list of languages of apologies
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html#love
Lots of love
Dad
PS. you can email me to ask me not to mess with your heads 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
... okay, how about trying to conceptually flip things on its head.
As you are vacuuming, washing dishes, putting rubbish out, putting the cat in the oven and chicken out for the night... Imagine how good it must feel for her... it must be like cuddling up on the setee watching a moovie, or holding hands walking round town, or giving her a piggy back through a muddy path by the canal.
I think this stuff is contagious within a relationship. I mean that if you relentlessly keep at caring for her primary LL, she will gradually get filled up with your generosity... and at some point feel cared for enough that it overflows and she has some extra 'love' to give away to you...
Just my thoughts 🙂
I gotta go rip a sound card out of a PC.. chat another time.,,
Not all women likes flowers but it make them smile everytime men give it to them. Not because they like it but simply because for them, it is sweet act to express love and care! I don't usually give flowers but since my wife like it, so ofcourse I adjusted to her preference 🙂 )
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