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[Solved] Single Dad - Mixed Families

 
Pilgrims
(@Pilgrims)
Active Member Registered

Hi all
I am a Dad to 3 children, aged 13,10 and nearly 1 year. My 13 and 10 are from my first marriage and nearly 1 year from my ex-partner.

Unfortunately, our relationship has not worked and now I face myself in a dilemma I was in 8 years ago. The COVID19 has made it worse and presently, my youngest has not seen his brother or sister for nearly 12 weeks and despite govt guidelines saying they can, my youngest mum is not allowing. I am only allowed if there is 7 days between seeing my other two.

It is now taking a toll on my older 2's mental health and if I am honest, mine too. I fully appreciate the situation we are facing but I am now struggling on how to move this forward so that I can have all my kids and we can all bond.

Does anyone have any advice? I have tried speaking and trying to meet in the middle but the youngest mum is not budging! I want to be as amicable as possible and show to my children that we have their best interests but that has to come 2 ways, surely.

I would also welcome advice on this kind of set-up, as it new to me in terms of 2 different mums etc.
Thank you
A

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 18/06/2020 3:24 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

i have 3 kids from from previous marriage. i have been kept away from kids for 3 months also due to covid excuse. just been having video calls. only now my ex is starting to resume direct contact this weekend. if a mother is not budging at all, then there is not a lot that can be done about that.

you can apply for a court order, if you have patience. its about a 5-6 month process.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/06/2020 3:31 pm
Pilgrims liked
AL1986
(@AL1986)
Trusted Member Registered

It sounds like your most recent mum might have a lot of anxiety about her child, which is understandable. Could you maybe be civil with her and try and get to the root of what is worrying her and if there’s anyway you can curb her anxieties?

Kids shower and get changed into clean clothes before visit, wash hands etc?

Or is she just using to get At you?
Whatever you do don’t get angry, if you ever go to court in the future even in 3 years she’ll use it all against you trust me!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/06/2020 5:54 pm
Pilgrims liked
Pilgrims
(@Pilgrims)
Active Member Registered

Thank you for the replies - I am trying to avoid court as much as possible but may have to do it. She is worried because there is 3 in the household as oppose to two i.e. my house, my eldest two house and her house. She does have a lot of anxiety and I believe I have been more than fair by doing as she asked. It would also be easier if she wasn't so contradictory. I see and appreciate her side of things, otherwise I wouldn't have done what I've done to date.

I tried again yesterday and she is still not budging so I think I will wait to see what the government do in terms restrictions in July and if no joy after that, I have no choice but court!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 22/06/2020 2:18 pm
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