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hi all
well where do i start? in april my wife of 8 yrs gets arrested for sexually abusing my son her step son to which she had parental responsability. i also have a 3yr daughter with the ex wife she is currently on bail. both children have now been placed on the child protectiom register and what support do i get ? you guessed sod all everyone in the conference was female she had numerous agencies involved with her and i had my brief social services accused me of knowing about the abuse even though ive worked away for 7 years.
i feel that if i owned a couple of push up bras and some thongs i'd get all the support there is out there i explain to ss that im a broken man and need some support and i get told go to my gp i dont need a flu jab !! i cant fnd an advocay service to help me with ss no supports groups nothing. having worked away for 7 yrs i dont have many friends left in the area so now i feel extremley isolated confused frustrated angry so can anyone help me any advice ????
Hi there and welcome 🙂
This is just terrible for you and my heart goes out to you and the children.
How old is your son if you don't mind me asking, and where are the children now?
I wish I could say that the behaviour of the SS is isolated but I'm afraid it's not! They are in the business of crisis management and as long as they are seen to be following procedure, the rest is lip service.
We have a member here called Karen, she is a grandmother and is supporting her son and grandson....there is no sexual abuse issues with her story but the SS are behaving in the same way as in your case....through advice here she and her son have been able to get a solicitor for the child and will be fighting for his rights. This may be the direction that you should be looking at. You could get hold of the minutes of the meeting where they accused you of being complicit, as you need to start gathering evidence to back everything up. Start making a record of everything and keep copies of all correspondence and transcribe any conversations. Every time you deal with someone in authority ask for their name and make note of it. It's time to get yourself organised my friend!
You could also go and see your MP...they hold sway with these government departments and may be able to help you.
If you decide to go and see your MP then I would play down the "female" aspect as this may go against you, you may be considered a sexist and people will make assumptions about you based solely on that....I know there is a distinct female bias that runs through children's services, and the attitudes to fathers in the judicial system, as do others here!
The other thing I would advise is to try and be as anonymous as possible on this and other public forums, if you've used your real name as your username it might be a good idea to change it! You never know who is lurking!
I can completely understand the tumult of your emotions, you are still in shock! Things will settle down and you will start to see things more clearly...I think it may be a good idea to go and chat to your GP, they do a lot more than give flu jabs, and will be able to refer you on to a counsellor.
You won't find the same judgemental attitude here as you got from the SS, and it will do you good to talk. We are a caring bunch and will try and help you all we can. 🙂
Well I am shocked at SS and NJ will say remain on here long enough and I wont be!
I am extremely shocked at their attitude. Everybody now knows [censored] abuse goes on without parent or partner knowing about it! I am sorry that you have been so badly dealt with! I have to say that every time I have attended one of those meetings with clients, they have been very reasonable and helpful.
Where are the children now, are they living with you? How old is your son. Do they recommend any help for your son?
If you want legal advice, you need to find a Solicitor in your area who deals with Care Proceedings. They are best suited to dealing with matters of the child protection register. If you have a copy of those Minutes from the meeting, you can take them to the Solicitor.
As NJ says too, do play down the female aspect if you go to see your MP, which is not a bad idea either.
...you're right, I believe I have said that to you EnyaM :boohoo: ...this poor guy has suffered enough!
Hi
It may be worth having a word with the Family Rights Group - http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice
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