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I married my wife 10 years ago and we are going through a period of difficulty at the moment. when I married her she already had a 3 year old daughter who I took on as my daughter.
yesterday morning when I was 1 hour away from taking OUR 3 children to see my mum and sister she told me she was taken our daughter to see her bio father and see her bio grandmother.
she just announced it and I had no choice but to go with it due to the situation between us.
she took our daughter and met the bio paternal family without even any consultation with me. I feel hurt by this.
am I nuts or is this unreasonable?
Hi Mate
The simple answer is that its outragous and you have every right to be angry and upset. The question i have is wha's going on in your marriage, has one of you had an affair, or is it about communcation ?
I guess you know this but you really need to ask her whats going on. Have you thought about marriage counselling?
What was the outcome of the trip to see the bio-father?
Hi free
we are going to relate and she is now on the verge of handing in a complaint against the consellor we have. she claims that some of the questionning is unfair to her and secondly that the counsellor is not on this planet as she can't see through my [censored] (her words not mine)
the whole saga i complex but I am the only one out of us both I feel who is doing anything to save this marriage. she wrote a lot of very personal and hurtful comments about me on mumsnet and it was while I had to read through this that I discovered she was heading for woman's aid on one day and a solicitor the next. I did not know this and had to read through all of it to find out.
communication is exceedingly variable and she has repeated that she wants space and so we should separate. her view is that I shoudl move out but I respond saying that I can do just as good a job as she can. her only response to me that she shoudl stay is because she is their mother.
anyway. it is a bit nightmarish but each day with the kids is a beautiful day. I am leaving her more and more to hrself and just focusing on the kis. she is running from the marriage so its a situation that is constantly developing.
we are both in the same house but I am sleeping downstairs. I am not going to leave and the ball is firmly in her court.
Bud what a predicament... Keep pressing in on the marriage whatever you get back... It sounds a really difficult sit. Has their been violence between you? Aren't Women's Aid a domestic violence shelters?
In terms of some ideas have you looked at the articles on relationships? There is a summary of all of them here :
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/categories.php ... k=articles
But in particular check out these three on communication, forgiveness and trust.... they are favorites with visitors to Dadtalk so i hope you find them helpful too :
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/communication.php
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/forgiveness.php
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/what_is_trust.php
Hope these help - keep coming back and letting us know how its going.
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